Torn Apart
by Irish Southern Belle
Summary: Old friendships and rivalries change as Bellatrix enters her sixth year at Hogwarts. Voldemort rises to power, and Bella's life will never be the same again.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Sorry y'all I had to take everything down due to computer issues...but now it's back up, and hopefully I'll post some updates soon!**

PART ONE: Love and Misery

Chapter 1

"Aw look what we have here, boys – little Snape here has got himself a girlfriend!" I turn around in time to see James Potter raise his wand and send Severus Snape spiraling into the nearest tree, only to be stuck hanging there by his feet. I spy Snape's friend, Lily, looking on in horror. Of course; stupid bully of a boy Potter is so jealous of Snape's friendship with Lily that he has decided to humiliate his newest victim. Lily begins to fuss at James, and he revels in the attention. That pig. Fed up, I march over to the scene.

"You all right?" I call up to Severus, and he nods, thoroughly embarrassed. The sound of my voice distracts James from his avid flirting with Lily. "Hello, Bellatrix," he smirks at my exasperated expression, "Come to admire my handiwork have you?" I ignore him until I can figure out a spell that will safely get Severus down; then I turn back to James, who's laughing about his little prank.

"What is your problem, Potter? It's only the first day of school, and you're already such a pain. It's a wonder anyone would want to be friends with you!"

"Interesting that you say that, _Black_. I seem to have already made a new friend who shares your name." With that, James moves aside to show me someone standing behind him: Sirius Black, my cousin. My cheeks feel like they're burning hot as I glare at Sirius and the rest of Potter's little gang.

"Congratulations, Sirius. So nice to see you're one of Potter's merry little followers after all," I huff. "Come on, Severus, who needs these jerks?"

"Bella wait!" It's Sirius. He's left his new 'friends' behind and is running after Severus and me.

"Honestly, Sirius," I say, "We're already in our sixth year. I don't see why you have to befriend those idiots now."

"Because I'm sick of not having any friends! You don't get it Bella – you're in Slytherin! But my parents are always telling me to avoid the other houses – that our family is just pure-blooded wizards and that I only got put in Gryffindor because I'm rebellious…Well I'm tired of listening. I don't care, at this point, if James and his friends aren't perfect. They want to be friends with me, and they're in Gryffindor, so I see a lot of them – which is more than I can say of you, Bellatrix." With that, Sirius stalks off toward Potter and his friends. Honestly.

"If there's one person in this world I absolutely loathe, it's Potter," complains Severus behind me.

I turn around. "I don't understand why you let him treat you like that."

"What else could I do? He's got his whole bloody pack of mindless dogs behind him. I hate them all."

"Severus?" It's Lily, jogging up the path toward us. "Hey I'm really sorry about what James pulled back there. I asked him to stop, but he's a jerk, so…" She trails off as she notices my icy glare. It pisses me off what she's doing – using Severus for a friend when he really likes her and she obviously likes James. I don't have the heart to tell Sev – he likes her _so _much – but all the same, being around her is making me want to blurt out the truth to him. So instead, I tell them that I have to get to class. (Not entirely a lie…I'll just arrive to Defense against the Dark Arts super early. Wonderful. This year is shaping up to be bloody wonderful.)

I saunter into the classroom, expecting it to be dull as usual. Most of my professors are ancient and seem to love lecturing us half to death. Except for myself and one other student, the room is empty. Fantastic – I'm that early. I take a seat off to the side and begin to drum my nails on the desk out of sheer boredom. The other student glances up at me, curiosity apparent on what I can now see is a lovely face.

"Bored already?" he asks. His lips twitch as if threatening to break into a grin. It seems that my lack of patience is amusing him.

"Let's just say it's already been a long day," I reply, taking in his appearance. He must be about six feet, muscular but not stocky. His hair is a floppy mess of brown waves, but his eyes are what stand out to me. They are the most penetrating blue I've ever seen, and immediately I look down, feeling flushed and embarrassed without really knowing why.

"Sorry to hear it," he says, coming to lean on the desk next to mine, and he does sound it. "Any way I can help?"

His question startles me. "Thanks, but it's nothing really. You don't even know my name," I point out.

He chuckles and extends a hand. "Rodolphus Lestrange," he introduces himself.

"Bellatrix Black," I return with a shy smile. Maybe this year won't be so bad after all; my first class hasn't even started yet, and it seems that I've already befriended the hot guy in Defense against the Dark Arts. Other students begin to file in, and I grab my books from my bag as Rodolphus walks up to the front of the classroom. What on Earth is he doing standing at the board? Is this some kind of prank?

"Hello, class, and welcome. My name is Rodolphus Lestrange, and I am your new Defense against the Dark Arts professor.

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	2. Chapter 2

**AN: I don't own anything!**

Chapter 2

Well now I feel incredibly stupid. I mean, I know I zone out and never listen when Professor Dumbledore gives his 'welcome back' speech (or any speech for that matter) each school year, but I had no idea I would miss that little tidbit about Rodolphus Lestrange being the new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher. He looks young enough to be a student! I honestly thought he was flirting with me…my cheeks turn bright red as I realize I must have been wrong about that. For the rest of class, I do my best to focus on the book in front of me, and I dash out of the room like a baby when it's over.

Flustered and desperately trying to forget my first class, I nearly knock over a girl on my way out the door. "So sorry," I manage, more embarrassed than before.

"Bella!" she exclaims, grabbing me by the arm and turning me around. It's my twin sister, Andromeda. We're only fraternal twins, but we do look a good deal alike. Both of us have big, hazel eyes and long, curly hair. Her look is more angelic, though, with her perfectly tamed golden curls, whereas my dark locks are infinitely wilder and out of control. "I was waiting for you so we could go to Transfiguration together," Andromeda explains, "Why are you in such a hurry? And why do you look so upset?"

"I-its nothing," I stammer, avoiding her eyes. We're more than sisters; even though we would never admit it to our younger sister (Narcissa), Andromeda and I are best friends. That's why I half expect her to drag the truth out of me then and there. Instead, though, she merely raises her eyebrows and purses her lips as if suppressing a smile.

"That's fine," she smiles all too sweetly at me, "I'll get it out of you sooner or later." I roll my eyes at her but know that she is probably right, all the same.

The next day, I'm running very late to my first Potions class of the new school year. I'm not looking forward to it in the least because it's with Gryffindor. Now don't get me wrong; I couldn't care less about who has pure magic blood (Slytherins mostly) and who doesn't, so that's not why I cringe when I hear "Gryffindor." Rather, it's because of James Potter – bully extraordinaire.

_"Maybe he won't be in this section,"_ I think, trying not to let myself get too hopeful. Before I even reach the dark classroom, though, I hear his haughty voice, taunting someone.

"Poor, little baby. Oh are you going to cry now, Snape? Look, boys, I think _Snivellus_ Snape is about to cry!"

I hear his friends chuckle at the new nickname as I come upon the scene. Severus is covered in some sort of sticky potion from Potter's cauldron, making his long, dark hair stick out in spikes all over his head. The Potions professor seems to be preoccupied on the other side of the room with a girl who has managed to make the contents of her cauldron explode all over the floor and several desks. Maybe he won't notice I'm late.

I slink over to where Severus is sitting. "Hey," I whisper, taking a seat.

"Hey yourself," he says with a sigh as he tries to get the sticky goo out of his hair – to no avail. I look past him to James and his two – well, _three_ now – best friends: short, rat-faced Peter Pettigrew; tall and lanky Remus Lupin; and my cousin, Sirius, who now turns to glare at me for all of two seconds before looking away. It seems he's still upset after his little rant yesterday, as if I'm the one telling him not to befriend non-Slytherins. In my book, there are only a few non-Slytherins that one should avoid – James Potter being at the top of that list.

Speak of the devil…Potter has noticed my obvious staring at the four of them and grins evilly at me, starting to high-five each of his friends for the prank he pulled on Severus. "Impressed, Bellatrix?" James calls to me.

"Ugh," I mutter, rolling my eyes, "Loathsome little cockroaches, the lot of them, Severus."

He gives up trying to pull the mess out of his hair to regard me, one of his oldest friends. "Bella…?" he stops himself.

"What?"

"Nothing. It's just…we've gone to school with Potter for years. He's never been this bad to me until this year, but he's always pushed us around and picked on us – everyone we're friends with. He makes up stupid names and insults, but…"

"But what?"

"He's never really tried to bully you around. I've always wondered why that is."

I had never really thought about this, but he's right. For some reason, the more I start to wonder why I'm the only one in our group – the only Slytherin, in fact – that James Potter never makes fun of, the more the thought begins to bother me. I try to laugh off Severus's ponderings. "Maybe he's just intimidated by me," I offer, though I have a sinking feeling that I'm wrong.

It's late at night, long after our roommates are asleep, when I whisper, "Andromeda?"

"Yeah?" comes the hushed reply.

"I can't sleep."

She comes over to sit on the edge of my bed. "What's bothering you?" she asks, book in hand. She's been reading, waiting for the other girls to fall asleep. She must have known something was up and that I wanted to talk. My sister knows me all too well.

I take a deep breath, "I'm just really confused." Her kind eyes encourage me to keep going. The rest of the words come out in a rush, "I think I like someone, but I don't think he could ever like me, but then there's someone else who I think might like me, but I really hope not because I want nothing to do with him."

She giggles softly, "Think you could slow it down for me, Bella?"

"I'm…having boy trouble?" I condense my problems into one generic phrase.

"So who do you like?"

"His name's Rodolphus…he's sort of the new DDA professor."

"What? Bellatrix!"

"He's super young! I thought he was a student when I started talking to him. I…"

"Geez, kidding, Bella. I had class with him today, too. Very cute," she winks at me. "It's just a crush for a hot teacher. I hardly think that counts as boy trouble."

"Well, I guess the other thing is bothering me more…"

"Ooh, you like someone else?"

"No way. But I think he might like me," I groan.

"And that would be a problem because?"

"Because…because it's freaking James Potter!" I whisper, exasperated. Even in the dark room, I can see her eyes widen in shock.

"Bella, what makes you say that?"

"Just something Severus said today – about Potter always bullying everyone in our group…except me."

I notice Andromeda has this far-off look in her eyes, like she's remembering different things that have happened over the years. She stops and looks down for a moment, and her shoulders begin to shake. When she looks back up at me, I can see that she's laughing silently, trying not to wake our roommates. "Well, wouldn't that be something?" she joked, "Bellatrix Potter!" and a few giggles escape her as she doubles over in laughter.

I stare at her in disbelief. "That's not funny!" I whack her on the back with my pillow.

"Oh, it is, and you know it," she insists, walking back to her bed. She sits down and looks at me, and I know we must be thinking the same thing – how ridiculous "Bellatrix Potter" sounds – because we simultaneously burst into giggles.

That's one of my favorite things about having a twin. She always knows how to make me laugh when I'm upset. Not to mention the fact that I can tell her anything, and she won't judge me for it.

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	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I don't own anything! Enjoy!**

Chapter 3

It's time for my next Defense against the Dark Arts class with Professor Lestrange, so I purposefully walk in at the last minute before taking a seat in the back. I try not to look at him again as he conducts the lesson, but I don't have much of a choice when he confronts me after class.

"Bellatrix, right?"

"That's me," I sigh.

"Just wanted to make sure you were all right after you ran out of class the other day," he says, his tone hinting at something. I look up, only to see a grin that reaches all the way up to those brilliant blue eyes of his. Great – he seems to have realized that I am – _was_ – actually into him, and the thought amuses him.

I grit my teeth together in frustration. "It's nothing," I fume, "Don't worry about it." I turn to go, all sense of politeness out the window, but he stops me.

"Bellatrix, hold on a moment. There is something else I wish to discuss with you."

"Yes?"

"I really want this class to get a lot of hands-on experience defending themselves," he begins, "These are dangerous times we live in, what with the imminent threat that the Dark Lord and his followers pose." I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. This is not at all the turn I had expected our conversation to take. He continues: "However, this class is so large that, in order for us to be able to practice as many spells as I would like later in the year, I'm going to need a class assistant. I'll train this student outside of class so that he or she will be prepared to help me in class next semester."

"I was discussing this matter with a professor the other day, and he recommended you for the job. Said your knowledge of spells was extensive and that you're very gifted in self-defense," he concludes. I can hardly believe my ears. I've never gotten special praise for my magic before, much less from a hot, young teacher. My other professors usually say something along the lines of, "Easy, Miss Black, not so forceful. You really need to learn control before you end up hurting someone." It makes me wonder what professor could have possibly wanted to recommend me for a position in which I'll be guiding other students.

Suddenly I realize that Professor Lestrange is gazing down at me, expecting an answer. "I'd be honored to help," I offer, finding myself unable to refuse that lovely face.

"Excellent," he replies. "We'll begin training next week."

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I had no idea my sixth year would be so intense; it's only the end of the first week, and I already have a research paper due for my History of Magic course. Before dinner, I head to the library to pick up some materials for my assignment. I search the racks for the books I need, walking past a Gryffindor boy sitting alone and staring out the window. Sirius.

"Hey," I whisper, unsure if he's still angry, "Mind if I sit?" He says nothing, so I sit beside him anyway. That's when I notice the letter on the table in front of him. From here, I can easily recognize the quick, angry scrawl of his mother, my Aunt Walburga.

"Did you tell her?" Sirius asks me, his voice sounding dead as he turns to me with accusing eyes.

"Your mum?" I say, confused, peering at the letter, "Tell her what?" I suppose he believes the obvious bewilderment in my voice because he shrugs and turns back to the letter.

"She told me if I don't stop 'fraternizing with unworthy Gryffindor brats,' then she and father are going to force me to end my education at Hogwarts and come home," he explains. "One week! I can't even have friends for ONE SODDING WEEK!"

The librarian hastily shushes him with an angry, "No cursing please, Mr. Black," before walking away, glaring at the two of us.

"I'm sorry, Sirius," I begin. "What are you going to do?"

"I dunno," he groans. "But whoever had the bright idea to tell my mum had better watch out." He hesitates before continuing, "I'm…sorry about the other day, Bella."

"Don't worry about it. I guess I never thought about how hard it would be – not being allowed to have friends that you actually get to see," I insist, relieved that we're on good terms again. He and his little brother, Regulus, are more like brothers than cousins to me. When I was younger, my mother died. My father wasn't around much, so my sisters and I moved into Grimmauld Place – the house of our aunt and uncle (Sirius's and Regulus's parents).

"And I wouldn't worry about your parents," I assure him. "Honestly, how could they force you to quit school? You really think they'd use dark magic or something on their own son?"

Sirius's bitter laugh surprises me. "Well, you know how much my mum hates me, Bella," he broods. "They'll probably just kick me out, though."

"Honestly, Sirius," I chide. "Sometimes you can be so dramatic."

"You're one to talk," he laughs. "I'd better go. I think it's time for dinner."

"Yeah, wouldn't want precious little Potter wondering where you are," I mutter. He squints his eyes at me, about to come up with a retort. Great. I've probably made him mad again.

He surprises me, though, by saying, "You know, you'd think you two were really good friends. I've never noticed until I started hanging around him, but talking to you is a lot like talking to James."

Is the universe trying to play some sick joke on me? Reminding myself that Sirius has no idea about the mortifying 'Bellatrix Potter' conversation Andromeda and I had the other night, I resist the urge to slap him across the face. Instead, I reply, "Thanks a lot, Sirius, I think that's about the scariest thing I've ever heard," before storming off.

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	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter!**

Chapter 4

Where has the time gone? A week has already flown by, which means this afternoon I have my first training session with Professor Lestrange. Somehow I feel both excited and queasy at the thought. I tossed and turned all last night, and I have the hideous, dark circles under my eyes to prove it. James Potter would do well to stay far, far away from me today.

I attend all my classes, but mentally, I'm not there. In truth, I don't know if it's the drowsiness or the anxiety – maybe a bit of both – but I just can't focus on anything…anything other than what I'm about to do.

My last class of the day lets out, and I make my way to the Defense against the Dark Arts classroom where Professor Lestrange is putting away some books. "Ah, right on time, Bellatrix!" he beams at me. "Let me just shelve the last of these, and we can go."

He's lost me. "Go where?" I wonder aloud.

"Sorry if I was unclear; we're going to be working in the Room of Requirement. It's somewhat larger, and no one will interrupt our training there."

The Room of Requirement! Sure, I've heard of it – the hidden part of Hogwarts that becomes any room you want it to be – but only rumors. It surprises me that he knows where it is. "_Don't be daft, Bellatrix_," I tell myself. "_He's a Hogwarts professor; of course he's privy to information to which students are not."_

We walk to an empty corridor, and Professor Lestrange paces in front of one bare wall three times. I let out a tiny gasp when a door appears. He motions for me to enter, and he shuts the door behind us. In front of me lies a large, open room which contains nothing but mats on the floor, an hour glass, and some practice dummies.

I spin around slowly, taking in the sight of this secret room; however, I stop when I have come full circle and am facing him because I realize that two bright blue eyes have been watching me – very closely. I hastily look away and try to direct his attention elsewhere. "So, what's first on the list? Blow up one of these guys?" I joke, pointing my wand toward the practice dummies, trying to ease the tension.

He clears his throat and steps forward. "Actually, yes. I was told that you were a very powerful witch for your age, Bellatrix. Let's test your skills. For your first exercise, I want you to destroy as many of those dummies as you can in the next minute."

What on Earth is he talking about? "But I thought you were going to train me. You haven't even given me any spells to try!"

"Because the teacher that recommended you for this position convinced me that your knowledge of spells is sufficient for this task," he purrs, "though it seems that you're afraid to try anything more powerful than a simple charm."

"I'm not afraid!" I snap at him.

"Then why are you stalling?"

Absolutely furious with myself for allowing him to see me being afraid of screwing up, I feel a powerful rage and self-loathing fill me. The feelings build and build until I can't take them anymore. "Reducto!" I yell, and all of the practice dummies explode into a million pieces. It's not enough, though. I can practically feel the power coursing through my veins in this moment. I don't really want it to end; I want to ride this high. "Incendio!" comes my scream, and all of the pieces burst into flames.

"Impressive, Bellatrix," he praises me. "I give you a minute, and you get the job done in ten seconds! Even better than I was expecting for your first session. I think we can call it a day…"

"No!" I hear myself protesting. "Let's do a little more…please."

"Aren't you tired? That was quite a display of magic you just performed."

"No, I-I feel good, actually – more alive than before, if that makes any sense," I ramble, beginning to feel embarrassed again.

"I understand completely," Professor Lestrange assures me, and I smile up at him, grateful that he gets it. Catching me entirely by surprise, he pulls me in for a hug – before immediately pulling away, his blue eyes wide with the realization of what he just did. He clears his throat again, and his eyes narrow. Instead of trying to shrug off or ignore what just happened, he gets angry and directs his fury at me.

"Onto your next exercise, _Miss Black_," he orders sternly, "and try not to get sidetracked."

'Miss Black?' He's the only teacher who calls me Bellatrix. So now _he's _mad at _me_? Like it's my fault. And I'm supposed to train with him for the whole semester. This won't be awkward at all…

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The next day in Potions, I notice that Severus is unusually quiet. "What's up with you, Sev?" I say.

He stares down at his textbook, simply refusing to look at me. "Severus," I start again, placing my hand on his shoulder, "What's wro -." He has turned his face toward me, and now I see what's got him so down. He has a black eye, which is so swollen that he can't even open it. Besides that, several additional cuts and bruises cover his face.

"Severus!" I exclaim, my shock and concern only lasting about half of a second before it dawns on me: Potter's responsible for this. He's taken this bullying crap to an entirely new level, and the evidence is plain on the pitiful face of one of my oldest and dearest friends. "Why didn't you go to the hospital wing?" I ask him.

"Didn't have time. They caught me between classes."

"Hey Severus! You all right? What happened?" I look up in time to spot Sirius a few seats away, waiting for his new friends in the usual spot. So he wasn't with them. I guess this means I don't have to punch him in the face right now. All the same…

"I've had enough of your stupid little friends, Sirius," I rant. "Yeah, they did this; don't look so shocked. They're just getting worse and worse the older they get. So do me a favor. Tell them to shove off and leave Severus and all of our friends alone, or I'll make them regret ever setting foot inside Hogwarts."

He looks away, shaking his head, and I'm beginning to wonder exactly where his 'friends' are, when the three of them casually stroll in at the last minute. The professor walks in right behind them. Cowards. Class is starting now, so I can't really get up and get in their faces about this like I want to – not without making a scene that will undoubtedly land all of us involved in detention. There is no way I would ever do anything to land myself in detention with that idiotic brute of a wizard, Potter.

I do my best to ignore that slime ball for the entire class, and afterwards, I take Severus by the arm and get out of the room before I do something that will get me in trouble. James Potter simply isn't worth it. I decide to skip class and make Severus go to the hospital wing for his face. As we're walking, I find myself groaning in obvious exasperation. "Why, Severus?" I wail. "Why the bloody hell is he out to make you suffer this year?"

Severus keeps his eyes on the floor as we walk. "I think he's trying to get your attention, Bella," he mutters.

"What?" I stop in the middle of the corridor. This can't be happening.

"Do you remember last week when I said-."

"I know what you said," I snap at him.

"Never mind – forget I said anything," he attempts to calm me down now, seeing that his words have upset me severely. The thing is, though, he can't take them back, and I'm beginning to fear that he's right about Potter.

I don't want to admit this, though. No, it'd be so much easier if this was all just a huge misunderstanding – if he wasn't trying to get my attention and make Severus pay for spending time with _me_, but with someone else. These wishes come out in a rush: "For years, I seriously thought he liked Lily – and that's why he bugged our group of friends, because you were friends with her, and we were friends with you, and because she likes him so much – ugh, and I thought he was trying to impress _her _and punish you for spending time with _her_, but he must think you like _me_ or something, damn it all!"

Stopping to catch my breath, I notice that Severus is now standing very still, too still, and worry creeps into my very bones. "You're scaring me, Sev," I tell him, "What is it?"

He locks eyes with me. "What – did you – just say…about Lily?"

About Lily? I was so angry and confused a moment ago that I'm racking my brains trying to remember exactly what I - . Oh, no. During my little tantrum, I inadvertently told Severus what I swore to myself that I never would – that the girl he loves only has feelings for the one person he truly hates.

"Severus, I-I…"

"It's true then," he cuts me off and glances away. "Go onto class – I can get to the hospital wing without any _help_."

"I'm so, so sorry, Severus. I didn't mean – ."

"For me to find out the truth?" he bellows. "Some friend you are, Bellatrix. You knew all along that she liked Potter, and you didn't say anything. I _love _her! I can't help it – I just do! And I was beginning to think that toad was jealous of her and me – humiliating me for being with her. But no! He likes _you_, is punishing me for being with _you_, and you let him think that he's right! You let me suffer for being with you when I never liked you!"

"Please! I only just realized – ."

"Oh, please. You just want to be the center of attention! You probably knew that he liked you for years, didn't you? And you let me suffer for your stupid ego, while you just _complained_. 'Oh, poor me, poor, innocent Bellatrix!' I hope you're happy…you two-faced bitch."

By now the tears are streaming down my face as I realize that any attempt to reason with him is fruitless. I can only hope that he doesn't really mean all those things, that he doesn't honestly think I would betray him like that, that it's just the shock talking – the shock of finding out the truth about Lily. Who am I kidding? I'm a terrible friend to let him find out like this.

"Severus!" I call after him as he continues down the hallway.

"Don't bother," he replies without even turning his head. "I've seen the real Bella, and I don't want anything to do with her."

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"Aghhhh!" I scream into my pillow. Severus told me to go to class, but I decided to ditch anyway. I probably would have had a breakdown or something in the middle of a lecture. I just can't wrap my mind around all of this! Sev must be crushed – utterly heartbroken – to have said all of those things to me. It just doesn't make any sense any other way. After all, he's the very one who even suggested that Potter likes me in the first place! It's too much to think about right now. James Potter! I'm losing my friends because of pathetic James Potter. More tears come, and I find myself drifting off…

The next thing I know, a gentle hand on my shoulder is shaking me awake. "Bella? What are you doing here? I brought something for you and Andy," says the sweet voice. I roll over unwillingly and force my red eyes open. Standing above me is my thirteen-year-old sister, Narcissa.

"Did you skip?" she demands, and if I weren't in such a low mood, I'd be laughing at her expression of pure astonishment. Sweet little Cissy; she's such a goody-goody.

"Yeah I did," I choke out, still hoarse from sobbing so much. "No big deal. So what'd you bring us?" She's eyeing me suspiciously, and I know news of my strange behavior today will most definitely reach Andromeda. No, she doesn't judge me, but she'll definitely be worried.

Narcissa sits on my bed and reaches into a bag, pulling out two necklaces. "This one's for you, Bella," she says, handing me one. "I got one for each of us on my first trip to Hogsmeade last weekend. I've just been so busy that I haven't had a chance to give them to you two." I turn the piece over in my hands. Hanging from the metal chain is a small pendant in the shape of a bird skull.

"Lovely," is my dry comment. "Do I remind you of a dead bird?"

"Bellaaa…" she groans.

"Sorry, sorry…so what does it mean?"

"Well, I got that one for you because it looks like a raven to me, and you've got raven-colored hair. Not to mention that ravens are really smart, so it's a compliment, Bella. And maybe a little mysterious, too. I'd associate ravens with mystery…" she trails off.

"Or with death…dead things. Plus it's Ravenclaw's symbol, not ours. How am I supposed to wear it?" I fuss ungratefully.

"Do you want it or not? I'm sure I can take it back," she sighs.

"I'll keep it, never mind," I mutter. I feel bad for hurting her feelings, so I put it on and feign interest in the other necklaces. "What's on yours and Andromeda's?" I ask.

She perks up a little. "Andy's has a sun, because she has golden hair and …I guess because she's just so full of life," she considers, deep in thought. Great. My twin is full of life, while I'm a symbol of death. How flattering.

"What's yours?" I ask.

She points to the pendant she's wearing. It's a black peace symbol with a white background. "Because I can't stay angry with anyone for too long; I just want peace." That's the truth. My little sister can't stand conflict or having any one upset with her. She'll go to the moon and back to make someone forgive her.

I take off my new pendant and turn it over in my hands, over and over. I lose myself in thought about Severus, Sirius, James, Rodolphus – and forget that Narcissa is even in the room with me, until I realize how quiet it is and look up. She's gone. I notice the shimmering golden pendant that she left on Andromeda's nightstand: her sun. I have the raven, and Cissy has the peace symbol. Life, death, and peace. Light, dark, and balance between the two. I had no idea my little sister could be so deep.

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	5. Chapter 5

**AN: I don't own anything!**

Chapter 5

Andromeda skips into the room just then, holding a piece of parchment and grinning from ear to ear. Full of life and bright like the sun. Yeah, Narcissa nailed it for sure. "Cissy left this for you," I tell her. "She bought one for each of us in Hogsmeade."

"How nice," she murmurs, barely glancing at the jewelry. This isn't like her at all – that distant look in her eyes – eyes that have a hard time straying from the words on the page that she is holding.

"What's that you've got?" I ask, pure curiosity making me forget my troubles for a moment.

"Nothing!" she giggles, sitting down on her bed to read it again, before I deftly snatch it out of her hand. "Hey, give it back!" she whines.

I have just enough time to glimpse the signature at the bottom of the note before my sister retrieves it. "Who's Ted Tonks, and why's he sending you love notes, Andy?" I inquire, seriously lost. I've never heard of anyone by that name before. Perhaps he's new to Hogwarts…

"I met him last week. We have Potions together," she explained, looking anywhere but at me. She's obviously leaving out something.

"And?" I prompt her.

"And…what?" she plays dumb.

"What aren't you telling me?" I demand, a little put out that my twin would leave me in the dark.

"I just didn't want to make you angry, Bella," she answers carefully. "He's…sort of a Gryffindor. I know that house has been a sore subject for you because of James Potter, so I was just trying to figure out the right way to tell you…"

No. This is too much. I thought I had cried all my tears today, but I find that I'm sobbing again, harder than ever. I can't help it; this news is just hitting too close to home in regards to everything else that's been going on.

"I'm sorry," Andromeda whispers softly, but I can hear the surprise in her voice.

"It's not you…or him," I gasp between sobs. "I don't care that he's a Gryffindor; I'm happy for you!"

"Then what is it?"

"You're right – it's Potter. Stupid, insufferable, barbaric, spoiled little Potter!" I scream, throwing my pillow across the room.

Andromeda sits beside me and pulls me in for a hug. "Shh, it's okay, Bella, it's okay. What happened?" I proceed to tell her all about my suspicions that Potter really does like me, as well as everything that's been going on between him and Severus.

When I get to what Severus said to me earlier, Andromeda lets out a small gasp. "I'm so sorry Bella. I'm sure he didn't mean it," she assures me.

"Why not? I _am _a bad friend! I should have told him the truth about Lily in the first place!"

"You did what you thought was right; you didn't want to hurt him," she reminds me calmly. "Don't worry about Sev. I'm sure he's hurting right now, but just give him some time. You're one of his best friends. He won't stay mad at you forever."

I try to find comfort in her words, but all I can think about is how tortured my friend looked this morning – and how heavily his words to me were laced with bitter hatred.

Giving myself a little shake, though, I decide to put on a brave face for my sister, who was so happy a moment ago about her new crush.

"Well, tell me about the new guy," I insist.

She isn't fooled in the least and raises her eyebrows just barely, to show that she knows I'm still pretty upset. Even so, she does brighten at the prospect of telling me all about him. I sit and let her hold me like my mother used to when we were younger, and I listen to Andromeda describe Ted Tonks and all of his nice features – good looks, wit, intelligence (from what she can tell during Potions class). All of a sudden, though, she breaks off describing him midsentence. I wait patiently for her to continue. When she doesn't, though, I turn to face my sister.

"Something wrong?" I ask.

"I just remembered. There is one other thing about Ted that might cause some trouble…with our family."

"Trouble?"

"Mm-hmm. His parents barely have a dime…and they're muggles."

"Muggles?" I almost shout. "Andromeda! Aunt Walburga sent Sirius a letter threatening to make him leave Hogwarts for befriending Potter and his other mates just because they're in Gryffindor. I'm sure they aren't even all muggle-born. Can you imagine what she'll do if she finds out that you're _dating _someone who isn't a 'pure-blood'?"

"Well, I'll just have to make certain that she never finds out then," she huffs stubbornly. "I really like him, Bella. I know it's only been a few days, but I feel as though I've known him forever. He wants me to grab a butterbeer with him this weekend. Want to come?"

"You're seriously asking me to come with you on your date?" I wonder at her reasoning.

"It would be a good chance for you to meet him!" she insists.

"Or could it be that, if I'm there, you think that any one watching will assume that you two are just friends – that we're all friends?"

"That wouldn't hurt, either," she replies innocently.

"Ugh, fine," I groan, "but just this once. I'm so not playing chaperone for you two."

She laughs at my obvious discomfort. "Don't worry, sis," she tells me. "We'll find somewhere else more secret to meet eventually, I'm sure."

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The next day, Sirius stops me in the hall after classes. "Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?" he says.

"What's up?" I ask.

"Well, it's about James," he begins. Uh-oh. "I talked to him yesterday…told him to stop picking on Severus. He told me that he really likes you, Bella – that he just envied Severus because he thought you two were going out."

Great. My worst suspicions are confirmed. "Well isn't that…lovely," I reply, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

"He said was so sorry and that he'd stop bullying him," Sirius assures me.

I laugh heartily at that. "I'll believe that when I see it," I tell him. "James Potter has always been a stupid bully; he's not capable of anything else."

"He's not that bad once you get to know him, really!" Sirius tries to convince me. "Come hang out with us tomorrow night. We're gonna sneak out after curfew and have ourselves a little adventure. It'll be great – unless you're too scared, that is."

My temper flares at that. "I'm not bloody scared. What time?"

"Let's say one o'clock. Meet us in the dungeons," he says, and with that, he heads off in the other direction. What have I gotten myself into now?

**Review...you know you want to :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: I don't own Harry Potter. **

Chapter 6

The next night, I try to get in a little nap before my "adventure" with the boys, but I find that I'm too on edge to sleep. I hear Andromeda snoring softly a few feet away. I haven't told her or anyone else about my plans for tonight because I feel so foolish for letting my pride and quick temper land me in this situation.

The clock strikes one, and I slip gingerly out of our bedroom. My heart begins to beat faster as I tip-toe through the Slytherin common room and sneak out into the dungeons. Surprisingly, the guys are already there, waiting for me.

"You actually came," says Potter, shocked.

I turn to appraise him, narrowing my eyes, and notice that his glasses are gone. This draws my attention to his eyes, which I see are intense blue ones, like Rodolphus's and yet not quite the same. Ja- Potter's eyes are a deeper blue; they remind me of stormy seas. He is holding some sort of shiny cloak in his arms and looking at me expectantly. Are his hands shaking? I don't think I've ever seen him appear so nervous before.

For some reason, looking at him in this vulnerable state evokes a sense of pity in my heart for Potter. I feel like I _should_ punch him, curse him even, but somehow I just find myself wanting to talk to him – to ask him why he's done all that he's done. Who am I kidding? He's bothered my friends and put Severus through hell the past two weeks. I feel my anger begin to grow – anger at myself that I cannot bring myself to punish this jerk.

"Well, I couldn't let you boys have all the fun," I reply, and I turn to Sirius. "What's this little adventure anyway?"

All four guys smile and exchange knowing glances. "We're going to go for a little walk in the woods," explains Sirius.

The woods? "How are we possibly supposed to sneak out of the castle and into the ForbiddenForest without getting caught?" I demand.

Potter speaks up. "With this," he answers, offering me a folded piece of parchment.

Against my better judgment that this might be a prank, I take it from him. There is an elegant scroll across the front of it: "Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot & Prongs are proud to present The Marauder's Map." Odd names. I unfold the map, and a birds-eye view of Hogwarts appears on the parchment. It even has the current location of everyone on the school grounds. Still gazing at the map in my hands, I move toward the hidden entrance to the Slytherin common room. My name on the map does the same.

"Incredible," I breathe. Only when the boys begin to chuckle at my fascination do I realize how silent they had been a moment ago, watching my reaction. "Wherever did you find this?" I address the lot of them.

Remus Lupin speaks up. "James found it in the Gryffindor dormitories at the start of the school year," he informs me.

I shift my gaze back to Potter. "Y-yeah I dropped something under my bed, and when I looked underneath, I saw the map…it was all dusty under there; someone probably left it there awhile ago."

"Four someones," I correct him. "Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. What strange names. They sound more like pets than people."

They say nothing, but I notice puny Peter Pettigrew, who's standing behind the others, squirm uncomfortably. Does he know something about those names?

Before I have the chance to ask him, Sirius exclaims, "Alright then! Enough talk – let's go before the sun comes up, shall we?"

We leave the dungeons and use the map to see if anyone is coming our way, but we pass no one and scurry out of the castle undetected. The night sky is completely covered in clouds, hiding the moon and the stars from view. This total darkness gives me an uneasy feeling, and we all have to use our wands to light the way. As we near the woods, I wonder aloud, "Why _are _we going into the ForbiddenForest?"

"Because we can," answers Sirius. Boys. As if they didn't attract enough trouble, they actually have to go looking for it. Honestly. I look over at James Potter, the typical troublemaker, and realize that he's been strangely quiet all the way out here.

"What's that you're holding?" I ask him, as the five of us set foot inside the dark forest.

He seems surprised that I'm actually initiating a normal conversation with him. "Uh…it's an invisibility cloak," he manages to say. "My dad passed it down to me when I started school at Hogwarts. I brought it just in case we lost the map or something."

I extend my hand toward him. "Can I try it?"

"Sure!" he responds, gladly handing the cloak over to me. I pull the cloak on so that it's covering my whole body.

He laughs. "Bellatrix! You're gone!" he teases. From the safety of the invisibility cloak, I stare at his face. All traces of bitterness and mockery are gone. He's actually laughing _with _someone and not _at _them…at me, that is. What could have possibly changed him so drastically in the past day? I haven't the slightest idea, but I decide that I don't mind this side of James Potter.

I laugh along softly with James as I remove the cloak and hand it back to him. Then, I notice that the rest of our little group is gone. "They left us?" I ask, a bit worried – not so much about being in the dark forest, but about being alone with James. I'm not sure how exactly to act towards him anymore; this sudden personality change of his has got me so bloody confused.

"Don't worry," he assures me. "I know where they're going."

"And where's that?"

"You'll see," he promises me with a grin. All of a sudden though, his face is somber. "I really need to ask your forgiveness, Bellatrix. The entire time I've been at Hogwarts, I've been…pretty awful to the Slytherins…especially those closest to you…especially Snape."

My eyes widen in astonishment that he's offering an apology. Is he really serious? Or is he about to hit me with the punch line?

"I realize that it was a cruel thing to do to them and to you as well," James continues. "My biggest weakness is jealousy, Bellatrix. I've got really strong feelings for you. It's taken me five years to realize that. At first, I wanted to impress you. I didn't really know why, other than the fact that you're tough. I wanted to show you that I could be just as much of a bad-ass. Then, I started getting jealous of everyone that you're really close to, so I took out my frustration on them."

He takes a deep breath and sighs. "I was feeling really bad about treating your family like that," he adds. "Then two weeks ago, Sirius and I started hanging out, and I felt a bit better because I was being nice to him…on the other hand, I guess I more than made up for it by tormenting Snape. I honestly thought he and you…that doesn't excuse what I did though – what sort of hateful person I've been for the past five years. I just hope that, one day, you can forgive me, Bellatrix."

I feel dizzy with confusion. Does he mean all those things he just said? Does he? He's right – liking me does _not _excuse what he did. However, if he truly meant those words, and he isn't trying to pull one over on me, doesn't he deserve a second chance? But how can I even be considering that when only yesterday he was my biggest enemy? I just keep coming back to one thought: is he being honest with me?

"Why…why should I believe you?" I half-whisper, afraid my voice will break. "Why should I believe any of this?"

He steps closer to me and rests his hands on my shoulders. He's so close that I have to look up to meet his gaze. Those stormy blue eyes seem to be raging with some powerful emotion. "Because, quite honestly, I love you, Bellatrix Black," he tells me, just before taking my face in his warm hands and planting the gentlest of kisses on my unexpecting lips. The kiss lasts more than just a few seconds, and after a moment, I realize that I'm kissing him back. Instantly, I pull away to look at his face, and gazes at me intently.

Breathless, I try to sort through my thoughts. "Wow," I say, "That's…a lot to process."

Then, I do something I don't think either of us expect; I burst into giggles.

He, in turn, smiles at me, before becoming serious again. "Do you think you could ever forgive me for all the pain I've caused?" he asks, doubt obvious in his tone.

I look up at him thoughtfully. "I think," I admit, "that you and I should just turn over a new leaf – completely start over. Hi, I'm Bellatrix."

Chuckling in disbelief, he replies, "Well, hello there, Bellatrix, I'm James."

"Pleasure to meet you, James. You can call me Bella."

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Walking deeper into the forest with James, I notice that a bit of light begin to shine down through the trees. Finally. Those clouds from earlier must have parted, and now we can see more of our surroundings in the silver moonlight.

James stops walking. "Bella," he begins uncertainly. "There is something you need to know…about The Marauder's Map."

So they do know something. "What is it?" I prompt him.

"I didn't find it under my bed. We…we've been working on it for the past two weeks."

"You guys made it?" I say, amazed. He nods. "Wait, so you four are…"

"Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs," he finishes for me.

"What's with those names? And why didn't you all just tell me this in the first place?"

"Because," he replies, "it'll be easier to show you."

"Show me what?"

"This way," he answers simply, taking me by the arm and walking to a large clearing in the middle of the forest, where the full moon illuminates everything. Suddenly, my breath catches in my throat. Standing in the center of the clearing is some sort of large beast that looks strangely like a wolf but almost half…no. This can't be happening.

"James!" I whisper frantically, whipping out my wand.

James doesn't seem worried in the least, though. "Don't worry, Bella; he won't hurt us. He's had his potion today, haven't you, Remus?" he says calmly.

_Remus? _"Remus is a werewolf?" I ask, shocked.

"Yeah," he confirms, "Remus is Moony."

Moony. Like werewolves and full moons. The full moon! No wonder they wanted to come out here tonight. Wait a minute. If Remus is Moony the werewolf, then what about the rest of them?

"And what about the rest of you?" I demand.

"As soon as I found out about Remus's…condition, I wanted to do something about it. Something to make him not feel like so much of an outsider with us. So, Peter and I worked the whole summer on our big experiment."

"What sort of experiment?"

"We're animagi," he replies. "We can each transform into an animal, like Remus does, so that we can keep up with the big guy whenever there's a full moon. Sirius is working on it, too. He hasn't had as long as we've had to practice, but he's not doing too shabbily."

It's then that I notice the shaggy, black dog standing off to the side, with a squeaky rat.

The dog's fur is nearly the same color as Sirius's dark hair, while the rat reminds me of rat-faced Peter. I stifle a laugh.

"Padfoot and Wormtail," James introduces them respectively.

Padfoot, or Sirius, comes up to me, wagging his tail and panting. He jumps up on me, knocking me over. James laughs at my disheveled state, and I can't help but join in.

"So what about you? Prongs?" I question him.

He looks at me, hesitating before closing his eyes in concentration and transforming into a large stag with enormous antlers. Prongs. Of course.

Looking over at "Moony," I think of how difficult Remus's condition must be to live with, and I realize that, if James would do this for his friend to support him and include him – if he would do something so dangerously difficult and illegal for wizards our age – then maybe there's some good in him after all.

**Please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Enjoy! Oh and I don't own HP!**

Chapter 7

The five of us spend the next few hours hanging out in the forest. It's a bit odd, what with them staying in their animal forms, but fun nonetheless. We walk through the woods until we encounter two full grown unicorns. Prongs, or James, surprises me by running up to them and prancing around, trying to get them to play. Wormtail jumps onto Padfoot's back just before the big, black dog begins to chase after them. Not to be outdone, Moony snatches me up onto his back and lumbers after the lot of them.

We chase the unicorns for the better part of an hour before the boys begin to grow bored with this game. Prongs comes to a stop near a stream deep in the seemingly endless forest. Moony drops me onto the grass as gently as he can. Still, I land with a thud and sit there for a minute, dazed. A cross between short barking and wheezing escapes Padfoot's mouth; I guess that's what a dog's laugh sounds like. The other three let out various animal laughs as well, and I brush myself off and get up, rolling my eyes.

We all make our way over to the stream, and the boys each take a long drink. A sudden growl startles me, and I whip my head around to see Padfoot up in Moony's face, trying to get him to play as the werewolf lazily swats at his friend. This lasts for awhile – until Prongs stands up and starts sniffing the air. The others take note and do the same. Padfoot obviously catches wind of something because he lets out a short bark and runs even deeper into the forest, following the stream.

Wormtail jumps onto Prongs' back as Moony lifts me onto his again, and we are off on another chase. I wish I knew just what it was we were chasing, but it would be pretty stupid to ask them right now when they can't exactly give me an answer. I've lost sight of Padfoot, but the other three must be able to hear him because they continue to run after him. After what seems like forever, we catch up to him. He's standing absolutely still on the edge of the clearing that we first came to. His body is lowered to the ground, his ears forward. One of them twitches as we approach.

We stop several meters away from Padfoot and wait. There's movement in the clearing ahead of him. In the faint moonlight, I make out the shape of a cloaked figure. Worried about getting caught, I try my best to hide my face behind Moony's back, while still peering out at the mysterious stranger. I don't think that he or she has any idea that the five of us are anywhere nearby, but I still don't understand why Padfoot would chase after a person and risk getting caught. Then again, why would a human be wandering around the ForbiddenForest in the wee hours of the morning?

Moony sets me down – quietly this time – , and Wormtail jumps off of Prongs' back. Padfoot is still staring down the cloaked figure, so Prongs silently walks behind a large tree and nods to me. I tip-toe towards him as he transforms back into a human and pulls the folded invisibility cloak from his back pocket.

"Here," he whispers as he begins to drape it around my shoulders. "I don't know if it's a professor or not, but I don't want to risk you getting caught. We've got the map. You take the cloak, and stay completely covered. We're close enough to the castle now for you to find your way back, I think. We'll draw the person deeper into the forest, and you walk straight to the other end of the clearing and keep walking in a straight line until you get to the edge of the forest."

He starts to pull the cloak over my head so that it's covering me entirely, but I stop him with my hand on his arm. "James," I whisper, worry filling me over this strange encounter with the mysterious person. "Be careful. What if it's one of _his _followers?"

He doesn't have to ask to know that I'm referring to Voldemort, the dark wizard who is currently on a rise to power and is gaining more and more dark followers to do his bidding. James puts his hands on my shoulders and looks me in the eye. "We'll be careful; I promise. Now go, before you're seen."

I do as I'm told and pull the cloak over my face until my entire body is invisible. He resumes his stag form and joins the others. I notice that Padfoot hasn't shifted positions, and the stranger is still in the clearing, sitting now to heal a bloody scrape on the ankle with magic. It strikes me as odd that a human could outrun Padfoot. However, I don't have time to dwell on this because Padfoot – having heard my conversation with James via his super dog hearing – now makes his move by creeping around to the opposite side of the clearing and barking loudly. In an instant, the hooded figure turns into a puff of black smoke and speeds away. The four boys race after it, leaving me to find my way back to the castle.

After about five minutes of following James's instructions, I stumble out of the forest as the sun is rising. Is it really that late already? I hurry back toward the Slytherin dormitories without encountering anyone in the corridors. Remaining concealed under the cloak, I sneak into the common room. No one's there. I figured as much; it's only five or six on a Saturday morning. I remove the cloak as I make my way up the stairs and into my room. Luckily for me, Andromeda and the other girls don't stir as I climb into bed.

I lay awake thinking. What a night this has been! Between a declaration of love (and a kiss) from James Potter, finding out he and his friends transform into animals, and encountering a strange, hooded figure that turns into black smoke, I have a lot to think about. Something about that mysterious stranger seems off to me. If he or she could turn into black smoke in the blink of an eye, why not just float out of the forest to get away from us? Did he or she _want _Padfoot to chase him or her for some reason? Yawning and telling myself that I'll think about it tomorrow, I roll over and am asleep before I have time to do any more worrying over the night's events.

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"Come _on_, Bella! Get up! Let's go!" begs Andromeda. I manage to open my eyes the tiniest bit, so that they're little slits. She's already dressed and ready to go to Hogsmeade. Oh, that's today! I'm supposed to go with her for butterbeer and to meet Ted, the Gryffindor guy that she's so crazy about. I try to get up and find that I'm very sluggish this morning. Why won't my eyes stay open? I feel like I only got a few hours of sleep. Maybe all of those vivid dreams kept me from getting enough rest. I remember now; we were in the woods. It was Sirius and me…and James Potter. No, it's all coming back now – definitely not a dream.

Feeling Andromeda's concerned eyes boring into me and taking in my exhausted state, I try to divert her attention. "What time are we going to Hogsmeade?" I ask, throwing on some clothes and throwing my wild curls into a ponytail.

She gives up her intense scrutiny for the moment and sighs. "As soon as you're ready," she replies. "It's already half past noon."

Half past noon? Wow. I slip on my new raven pendant and hastily shove some money in my pocket. "Ready to go!" I announce, doing my best to seem awake.

She isn't fooled in the least. "Aren't you forgetting something?" she asks pointedly.

What's she going on about now? "No…don't think so," I say, looking around quickly.

Andromeda leans over and pulls out my wand from its usual place in my nightstand drawer. How could I be so stupid as to forget my wand? I'm dead on my feet, that's how. I take it from her with a sheepish, "Thanks," and hurry out the door before she can say anything. I'm not entirely ready to tell her about last night just yet. Where would I even begin?

She doesn't press the matter any further as we walk to Hogsmeade. Instead, her excitement at my meeting Ted seems to fill her with a new bubbling energy, and she's practically skipping down the pathway. When we finally reach The Three Broomsticks, Ted is already waiting at a table. As soon as we walk over to him, he stands up, pulls my twin into a tight embrace, and gives her a kiss that's bordering on inappropriate for a public establishment. Wow.

I clear my throat. "_Still here!_" I'm thinking to myself. Andromeda breaks off, mid-kiss and turns to look at me, her face reddening in obvious embarrassment – for her or for me, I can't really decide.

"This is Ted," she begins introductions. "Ted, this is my sister, Bellatrix!" Andromeda looks to me expectantly, obviously waiting for me to make some friendly gesture. I do a quick appraisal of her new boy obsession. He's taller than her but not very tall – muscular, though. His sandy blonde hair is long and shaggy, falling into his laughing, gray eyes. It takes me all of two seconds to decide that I don't like those mocking eyes.

"Nice to meet you, Bellatrix," he offers me a large, calloused hand, and I remember my sister saying something about him playing Quidditch. I do my best to shake off the bad vibes and shake his hand with all the politeness I can manage.

"You, too, Ted," I return. I can feel my sister's eyes on me. She's probably wondering why I'm not opening up more…why I'm not saying something along the lines of, "Call me Bella." I can't help it. There's something I just don't like about this kid.

The three of us sit down and order our drinks. We talk over butterbeers for an hour or two, and it gives me a chance to notice a few things. First, Andy and Ted sit across the table from me, and it's obvious that they simply can't keep their hands off of each other. How long have they been dating? Two weeks? Maybe that?

Then, I notice something that really bothers me. Not only is Ted very quiet, but he doesn't look at me or my sister – not in the eye, anyway. He doesn't contribute to the conversation but holds Andromeda and stares at her lips – like he wishes he could just keep snogging her to his heart's content. Talk about awkward. Between that, burying his face in her hair, and taking a drink here and there, he doesn't say much. I've decided why it is that I don't care a bit for this Gryffindor: it seems like he's using my sister for her body. What a pig.

After awhile, Andromeda suggests going over to Zonko's Joke Shop, but I decline, saying that I have to start working on a big paper due for Monday. My sister seems disappointed but agrees that I should probably head back. "Well I'm so glad that you got to come," she says, standing up. "I'm going to find the loo, and then we can go," she adds to Ted.

"I know where it is," I lie, getting up. "I'll come with you…probably need to fix my lipstick anyway." We leave Ted at the table, and (luckily for me) I quickly find the loo. Thankfully, no one else is inside, so I decide to go ahead and get it over with. "I'm sorry, Andy, but I honestly don't like Ted."

"What? Why?" She seems so surprised. Great. She likes him so much that she's blind to what he's doing.

"I hate to say it," I begin, "but I think he's using you. He didn't care anything about talking to you the entire time; he just wanted to snog you to death!"

I can see the frown lines forming on her face as her features shift into a scowl. "Really, Bella! Just because you've never had a boyfriend! That's what couples do – they snog – as much as they want."

"And there's nothing wrong with that!" I backpedal. "It's just that he seems like he cares more about that side of the relationship than about you as a person. I don't want to see you get hurt, Andy."

"Well, you won't," she replies firmly, "because he's a good guy…no matter what _you _think." With that, she turns on her heel and huffs out of the room. I follow her out the door, but she hurries out of the pub with Ted, leaving me to watch them go and ponder this unexpected turn of events.

**Please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: I don't own anything!**

Chapter 8

I feel a little bad for ruining my sister's perfect afternoon, but I just don't want to see that Ted guy take advantage of her. I swear…sometimes she is just all too trusting of people. I head back to Hogwarts on my own, and I find that I can't stop wondering how long she's going to be out with Ted. Great – now _I'm _turning into the worried sister.

When I make it down to our room, our roommates aren't there, either. I guess everybody's either enjoying the day in Hogsmeade while it's still fairly warm. Not me, though. Even if I hadn't gotten into a quarrel with my sister, I think I would've come back early. There's just so much to think about.

Somehow, though last night's events are still practically making my head spin, I'm more worried about things between Severus and me. Outside of my family, he is my oldest friend, and he's been there for me over the years in every instance I can think of. He's never let me down. Even when he started hanging out with Lily and crushing on her, we didn't grow apart. We've always told each other everything. I realize now that I should've told him about Lily; he's my friend, and he loves her. He needed to know.

I decide there's a good chance that Severus is in his room, as well – too upset to enjoy the beautiful day. Unsure of exactly what I'm going to say to him, I head to the boys' dormitories. I knock on his closed door, feeling a bit more at ease already. Sure, the Lily thing is probably hitting him hard, but hopefully the initial shock has worn off. I smile to myself, certain that today when I apologize again to him, he'll be able to see that, though I should've told him the truth, I only wanted to protect him. We'll make up, and, however long it takes, I am prepared to help him through his suffering.

The door opens, and, sure enough, Severus is standing there, one hand resting on the doorknob. His face has completely healed – thanks to the skilled witch nurses in the hospital wing – but dark circles are now apparent under his eyes, which are slightly bloodshot. His silky, black hair is disheveled, and it looks like he slept in his clothes from yesterday. "What do you want," he mutters, and it doesn't even sound like a question, just an almost incoherent mumble.

I take a deep breath. He's even worse than I expected. His brown eyes seem lifeless, as if he's looking _through _me. "I want to apologize, Severus. I know it's hard to hear right now, but I mean every word of it. I should have talked to you about this – told you about Lily. You were right, Sev; I've been a bad friend, and I am so sorry."

He's looking at the floor, so I have no idea what he's thinking. "I talked to her last night," he half-whispers. "She said it was true, that she just didn't tell me because she knew Potter and I didn't get along. She doesn't even know that I…" he breaks off, trying not to cry. Severus glares at me from beneath his long bangs. "Just go," he huffs, "I want to be alone."

I take half a step forward, though. "Sev…" I start to say, but he cuts me off.

"I said leave, _Black_."

After that blow, he shuts the door in my face, and I stand there for a moment, feeling a bit dazed. Slowly, I turn and walk back to my room. As I do, I begin to feel a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach – a feeling that I've ruined everything. I'm just being silly, though, surely. Honestly, it's not like Severus and I are going to stop being friends just because I screwed up, or because we had a fight. We've had fights before…When I pull out an old photograph of Severus and myself on my tenth birthday, though, I realize why it feels as though I've sabotaged our friendship.

The two of us look so young in the picture. Things were so much simpler back then because we never kept secrets from each other. When I said we told each other everything, I meant it – from our secret crushes to our fears, from our dreams to our insecurities – everything. This thing with Lily is the first time I have ever kept anything from Severus. I wish I had never overheard her telling her friend in the lavatory last year!

I realize, too late, that by withholding the truth about Lily, I've not only been a terrible friend, but I've also changed the rules of the game. Because I kept something from him, let alone something that meant this much to him, he's turning his back on me.

Lily and I are his only friends, though, and he's just found out that she's infatuated with James. He couldn't really push me away forever…

Could he?

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	9. Chapter 9

**AN: I don't own anything!**

Chapter 9

Andromeda doesn't get back to our room until late; she's definitely pushing curfew. I'm still up, though, hoping to make amends somehow. The other girls are asleep when she tip-toes over to her bed. "Hey," I whisper, not sure how to start.

She flops onto her bed and glances at me. "Hey, Bella," she sighs.

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry for ruining today. If you think Ted's a good guy, then that's good enough for me," I apologize, staring at the ground. I don't hear a reply. Uh-oh. That can only mean –

"I forgive you, sis!" my twin giggles as she jumps onto my bed and catches me up in a bear hug.

"Great!" I choke out, gasping for air. She lets go and starts to get ready for bed. "Andy?" I say.

"Yeah?"

"I meant it; do you really think he's a good guy?"

She looks away from me, liking she's thinking of him, and beams as she tells me, "I really do, Bellatrix. I think he might even be the one."

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Before I know it, the weekend is over, and I have to face the boys – all of them. Luckily, I don't run into the "Marauders" until my Potions class that I have with them. I wonder now if James regrets what he said to me, if that's why I haven't seen those four around. I'm probably being paranoid, but this has made me super nervous about seeing James again, wondering if it's going to be awkward…I haven't told anyone about that night in the woods – not Andromeda, Narcissa or even…no, especially not him. Ugh. My stomach lurches at the thought of class with Severus _and _those four boys. It was awful enough before James told me how he felt. Severus is going to feel truly betrayed if and when he finds out that James Potter is in love with me. That in itself is truly a strange thought.

As soon as I enter the Potions classroom, I notice that Severus isn't there. I take my seat beside his and hope fervently that he shows up so I can make another feeble attempt at an apology. It seems like I'm always apologizing these days. Honestly, what's wrong with me? Why do I have to hurt everyone I care about?

Ah, here we go. James and his posse saunter in just before class starts. I begin to think that I was right about him avoiding me, until he meets my gaze and grins the stupidest grin I've ever seen. Seriously, this boy looks like a kid at Christmas. I can feel myself blush, and I look down so no one will notice.

James comes to sit beside me, though, in the seat usually occupied by Severus. His friends sit down on the other side of me, in their usual seats. "Hi there, Bella."

I look up. Those deep blue eyes twinkle with – what is it? Anticipation? "Hey, stranger," I respond. "I thought we decided to turn over a new leaf, but then you disappeared…"

"I know; I'm sorry. I need to talk to you about that. We were chasing whoever or whatever that thing was in the forest, but it was too fast; it got away."

"Then what happened to you four?" I prompt him. "When did you even come back?"

"Last night." He starts to shake his head with disbelief, and he starts to grin again. The other boys look over, knowingly. Clearly, I'm in for a story. "Your cousin," James starts, trying to keep it together, "had a bit of trouble changing back. I was afraid he was going to be stuck as Padfoot, fleas and all!"

I chance a glance at Sirius, who's flushing ever so slightly. He shivers at James's comment and mutters something like, "Bloody parasites…"

I can't help but laugh out loud. Two Slytherin girls glance over at me. Great. I just hope news of my new friends doesn't get back to Andromeda or Severus before I have a chance to explain…explain? Honestly what am I even going to tell them? I push that thought aside and focus on what's going on around me. I have to admit, hanging around with these guys is actually somewhat enjoyable. I chat with them and join their group to work on my potion in class today. I'm having so much fun that I almost forget about my…_moment_ with James in the forest.

Of course, I remember later, when he walks me to my next class. It isn't awkward at first. It's a short walk, especially since we're doubled over laughing as we rehash what happened in our Potions class. (Let's just say Remus and Sirius are no Severus when it comes to brewing potions. They made a huge mess – all over themselves – and then proceeded to have a goo fight…boys.)

We reach the classroom, and James takes advantage of my arms being full of books to plant a quick peck on my cheek before hurrying away with a "See you later, Bella!" Hard to believe that this is the boy who declared his undying love for me in the ForbiddenForest only a few nights ago. It's sort of cute, though – this bashfulness when it comes to PDA – not that I think anyone noticed us. As I walk into the room and take a seat, I realize that I am, in fact, beaming – so much so that I would give my sister a run for her money.

He's a Gryffindor, though, and I know exactly how my aunt will feel about that. Heck, I hated him for the past five years! What is the matter with me? Bellatrix, just what are you doing?

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	10. Chapter 10

**AN: I don't own HP! Enjoy! Read & Review!**

Chapter 10

Wednesday rolls around again. Oh! I forgot to ask Professor Lestrange after class Monday if we'd be having another lesson today…after the last one and how that went. He's been acting as though nothing happened. Most likely he wants to forget about it. I am a student, after all, and he is a professor – even if he isn't much older than I am. I linger for awhile once class is over, until the other students file out.

"So are we having another lesson today?" I ask him, trying not to sound too hopeful.

"Of course!" he assures me, before a shadow of doubt crosses his face, "Unless you don't wish to continue…?"

"N-no, I do," I answer him. "Same place?"

"Yes, the Room of Requirement. I think we'll find everything we need in there."

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It's pouring rain, so I decide to eat lunch inside today, instead of taking my lunch outside like I normally do. I enter the Great Hall and spot Narcissa there. It feels like I never get to see my little sister; we're both always so busy. So, I take a seat beside her. Sirius's younger brother, Regulus, is also sitting with Cissy. Regulus is a fourth year Slytherin and quiet like my younger sister. They get on pretty well. Sirius and Regulus, on the other hand…well, let's just say that Regulus has been the favorite in Aunt Walburga's eyes ever since he was sorted into Slytherin.

"Ello, Cissy!" I sing brightly as I sit down to eat lunch with the two of them.

Narcissa looks up at my obvious cheerfulness, probably expecting to see Andromeda because she looks a bit puzzled for a moment, before smiling sweetly at me.

"Good to see you, Bella," she greets me warmly. "How are things?"

"Not too bad. And how are you Regulus?"

He looks up briefly, before shrugging. "Fine, I s'pose," he huffs. "Nothing going on but tons of stupid homework…"

Same old Regulus. He's never been outgoing, so he doesn't have any friends outside the family. Poor cuz. That must get boring – never having anyone to hang out with. I wonder what he does in his free time.

Cissy's voice drags me away from my ponderings. "Uh-oh. Here comes trouble."

I follow her line of sight only to see all four Marauders strutting toward our table. Uh-oh is right. Cissy must think they're coming to talk Regulus; he and Sirius are always fighting these days. I'm pretty sure today, though, they aren't here for him.

"Would you look at that!" James points out, "Three Blacks having lunch. What say we join them, eh, boys?" He doesn't wait for an answer. Instead, he focuses on me and simply asks, "Is that all right?"

Narcissa's eyes don't leave my face, waiting to see my reaction. Bloody hell. I should've told Andromeda and Severus about James before, because there's no keeping this quiet now. Acutely aware of everyone's eyes on me, I look up into the face of James Potter, my worst enemy up until very, _very _recently, and I realize that there's no going back once I make this decision. It could change everything. I think, though, that I'm ready for change.

"I don't know about that," I tease him. "Gryffindors sitting with Slytherins in the Great Hall? What would people think?"

He catches on to my teasing tone and sits beside me. The others sit down as well, and I notice that Sirius avoids sitting next to Regulus. I'm going to have to talk to those boys; they are brothers after all. For the moment, though, I'm a bit preoccupied because James leans over and whispers in my ear, "They can think whatever the hell they want."

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Cissy and Regulus are fairly quiet through lunch, but that's not unusual for them. I know, however, that Narcissa is just bursting with questions for me. James and his posse command my attention, though, and I find myself engaged in their conversation. Before I know it, Cissy and Regulus are leaving – mumbling something about having to work on a project. I suspect that this was just a ruse so that Regulus could get away from Sirius. Honestly.

Soon, we all have to go back to our classes. James walks me to my class again. This time, though, I'm expecting the kiss, so when he leans down, I give him a peck instead. Chuckling, James pulls me in for a quick hug before heading off to his next class. This might just be the best year at Hogwarts yet.

After classes let out, I make my way to the Room of Requirement for my second lesson with Rodolphus…Professor Lestrange, whatever. He's already there, leaning against the wall where the door appeared last time. "Ready?" he asks when I walk up to him. I nod, and he makes the magical door appear.

Today, the room is quite different. It's full of all sorts of animals in tanks and cages, and they're all quite loud. It reminds me a bit of a pet shop, except darker.

"All right, Bellatrix," Professor Lestrange begins. "Today, I want you to begin by focusing your attention on these little pests." He motions toward a tank of tarantulas. Ugh, I detest spiders – especially large ones. There must be at least a hundred tarantulas in this huge tank, crawling all over each other.

"What am I supposed to be doing?" I inquire reluctantly.

"What do you mean?" he asks, incredulous. "Kill the spiders, of course."

Oh. Well at least I don't have to set the vermin free. On the other hand… "I can't use the killing curse," I protest. "It's an Unforgivable Curse!"

"Bellatrix, please. It isn't unforgivable; it's only killing some spiders! If you can't even kill them, how are you supposed to defend yourself one day against people who mean to harm you?"

He has a point…and they _are _only spiders. I would kill them anyway with a broom or something, I suppose. I mentally chide myself for appearing weak in front of him again. "Fine," I answer gruffly, "How exactly do I kill them?"

Swiftly, he moves over to the spider tank and opens a small hatch in the top. With a wave of the professor's wand, one spider begins to float out of the tank and hangs suspended in midair. Professor Lestrange flicks his wand again. "_Avada Kadavra!_" he hisses, and a flash of green light zaps the spider, which falls to the floor.

Professor Lestrange looks at me expectantly, and I step closer to him. He moves his wand to levitate another spider out of the jar for me to kill, but I stop him with one hand on his arm. He immediately stops, a perplexed look coming over that lovely face. In response to his questioning gaze, I raise my own wand.

"_Avada Kadavra._"

Every single spider in the tank drops dead.

I lower my wand slowly and meet his gaze. His intense ice-blue eyes seem to penetrate my very soul as he regards me with curiosity. "You are an even more powerful witch than I first believed," he barely whispers, moving a bit closer.

I realize that we're standing really close – close enough for him to tower over me and close enough for me to even smell him; he smells so _good_, too. I almost have to crane my neck to see into those electric blue eyes. My heartbeat quickens as his fingers delicately lift my raven pendant from where it rests against my chest. He holds the tiny bird in his hand for a moment, examining it, before laying it back down, his fingers lingering against my skin for a moment. Clearing his throat, he walks over to a more open part of the room.

"Come, Bellatrix," he beckons to me, "Let us practice some disarming spells for now."

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	11. Chapter 11

**AN: I don't own anything!**

Chapter 11

I don't know what to think anymore. Honestly, this was supposed to be another dull school year. We're not even a month in, and already, my head is spinning. I've got to talk to Andy; I am in way over my head.

It's late again when she slips into our room, and I'm the only girl still up. "Hey sis," she whispers, surprised to find me waiting for her. I haven't seen much of her lately. She's been obsessed with Ted – skipping class often and coming in late at night. If I don't talk to her now, I might not get another chance soon.

"Hey," I respond. "Can we talk?"

She's still glowing from hanging out with Ted, so she nods happily. "Well," I hesitate, unsure of how to start, "It's about boys…"

She mocks a gasp and comes to sit on my bed, hanging onto every word. I continue, "I…wasn't imagining things. It turns out that James Potter is actually in love with me."

"What!" she exclaims, before I put my hand over her mouth. One of the other girls stirs in her sleep, but thankfully none of them wake. "What are you talking about, Bellatrix?" Andy demands, lower this time.

As quickly as I can, I tell her everything he said, even about the kiss and the past few days. She's obviously as blown away as I first was that James could feel this way. "I'm even more surprised at _you_, Bella," she admits. "You've always hated him."

"Maybe people do change," I offer, looking down. "That's not all, though."

"You're joking."

"Remember when I told you I had a crush on Professor Lestrange?"

"Yes…" she raises her eyebrows at me, waiting for me to say it.

"I'm pretty sure he feels the same way."

"No WAY!"

"Shhh!"

"What makes you say that, Bella?"

I explain to her about our private lessons and how…interested he was in me. She can't believe it. "He really did that?" she asks. "Wow, Bella. This is crazy. You've never had a boyfriend. And now, both of these guys are into you? Who's it gonna be, sis? The hot, young teacher or the popular bad boy?"

My cheeks are blushing intensely, but my sister makes me look at her anyway. I give a helpless sigh, "I honestly don't know what to do."

She laughs, incredulous, "You're just going to keep seeing them both…?"

"It's not like that!"

"Oh, sure," she rolls her eyes. "James Potter only told you he was in love with you. No big deal."

"Look, I know it sounds crazy, but at this point, I can't choose between them. I was actually hoping you would tell me it didn't sound so crazy…"

She looks me dead in the eye. "All I can tell you, Bellatrix," she advises me, "Is that this can't last forever. Sooner or later, you'll have to choose. Just remember that."

"I will. Thanks, sis." She gives me a quick hug and gets up to get ready for bed. "So," I ask, "How's Ted?"

"Amazing," comes her simple reply. Then, she bursts into giggles. I'm pretty sure I'll never understand how anyone can be that boy crazy. Who knows, though? I'm sort of caught between two guys right now. I could end up just like my twin….I look over at her, all blonde and giggling and bubbling with girly cuteness…nah, there's no way. Boys are just boys; I'm never going to let them have that much influence on my life.

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Another Potions class. Looks like Severus has decided to show up today. This should be interesting. He's sitting near the front, instead of in his usual seat, when I walk into class. Mustering up all the courage I have, I go to stand by his desk. "Hey, Sev," I half-whisper. He doesn't look up but keeps his eyes trained on his textbook instead. "I can't even tell you how sorry I am," I continue, getting a little braver. "I know there's no way I can make it up to you, but I'll try, somehow…"

"Go. Away," comes Severus's reply through gritted teeth.

"No," I protest stubbornly. "I'm not going to let you ignore me. You can't just close yourself off from everyone because of this, Sev. You've got to let her go."

He whips his head around to glare at me with those sad, bloodshot eyes, and I want to give him a hug; he's not himself right now, though, and at this point, I think that might just make things worse. Right on cue, I hear four noisy boys walk in behind me. "Hey, Bella!" It's James, of course. Severus's eyes get even wider as he realizes that James is actually being friendly to me. This isn't going to be pretty.

"I knew it," Severus practically spits at me. "First Lily, now you're friends with the guy who's perfectly happy to make my life a living hell!" He stands up, throwing his books into his bag.

"Look, Snape," James stops Severus with a hand on his arm. "I'm sorry, alright? It was stupid of me – really stupid. I guess I was just doing it to get Bella's attention, but it was still bad form, mate, I know."

Shit.

"What?" James's words have thrown Severus for a loop. It doesn't take long for his rage to return, though. "You're going out with this jerk, Bellatrix?" His words stab me like needles, and everyone is looking. I almost wish our professor would come in and break it up. "Well, you two deserve each other," he continues. "I don't care what your perfect family tree says. You act like a lying, MUDBLOOD BITCH and I hate you."

Before I even have time to process this, James pulls me away from Severus, who looks like he's ready to slap me, while Sirius throws himself at Sev for insulting his cousin. He starts wailing on him with his fists. "Stop!" I yell at Sirius. "Just stop it!"

We hear footsteps down the corridor. Remus and James pull Sirius off of Severus, and somehow, we all make it back to our seats right as our professor walks in. The silence is deafening, all eyes on us. I caught a glimpse of Sev's face before James scooted me over to my seat in the back. It's all black and blue. My cousin really did a number on him. It's a good thing he has long hair, I guess, or Sirius would get in huge trouble. Everyone saw that it was him beating on Severus, after all. This is too much. Why can't we all just get along? Oh, I know why – because I can't stay out of trouble. I'm not sure if I make trouble or if I'm a trouble magnet (or both), but all I know is that it causes way too much drama and heartache.

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Severus practically runs out of the room when class is over to avoid James and his mates. I'm beyond upset, so I decide to skip class with the boys. We decide to sneak off to the ForbiddenForest, and on our way, we pass Regulus in the corridor. Peter accidentally bumps into him, and Sirius immediately starts going off on his brother, telling him to stay out of the way.

"Was that really necessary, Sirius?" I demand, as the five of us continue to the forest. "Why is it so hard for you two to get along these days?"

My cousin huffs, still infuriated. "Peter overheard him talking to Narcissa," he explains. "Turns out he's the one who ratted me out to Mum for befriending my fellow Gryffindors…"

"Regulus? But that doesn't make any sense. Why would he tel–"

"Because he's jealous of me for having friends, Bella!" Sirius huffs, exasperated. "Which is stupid! He might actually have some friends if he would stop eavesdropping and sneaking around…if he would just act like a normal person!"

By now, we've made it to the forest. I decide to drop the Regulus issue, and my thoughts return to the incident in Potions today. I plop down on the grass with the boys and heave a depressed sigh. James is quick to pick up on my mood and leans over to rub my shoulders in a reassuring motion. I glance over at Sirius. "Thanks for standing up for me today, cuz."

"Anytime, Bella," he nods. "Snape made me so mad…"

"Yeah," I agree, "I let him down, but it still hurt to hear him say those things…" I feel tears brimming in my eyes. Ugh. Why? Honestly, _suck it up, Bella._

The boys notice, and James pulls the Marauder's Map out of his pocket. "I've got an idea that will make us all feel loads better!" he announces.

"What's that?" Remus asks, skeptically.

"You'll see," James assures him. He grabs his spell book out of his satchel and flips the pages until he finds what he's looking for. We all watch as he experiments on the map with the spell. It's a rather long spell, and I think I hear "Snape" somewhere in there.

"What did you just do?" I ask, completely lost.

"Well, I'm not entirely sure if it worked or not," a mischievous grin is showing on James's face. "We're going to need ole Snivellus to test it out."

The boys chuckle at the name, and at this point, I'm so upset with Severus that I don't care what they call him. However, I really don't want to see him right now, either, so I lag behind reluctantly. James notices and falls behind with me. "Trust me," he says, throwing his arm around my shoulders, "You'll get a kick out of this."

We go to wait for Severus outside of his current class. Peter peeks into the room to make sure he didn't skip, like us. "He's in there!" he whispers to us.

We wait until the class lets out. The students leave the room, Severus among them. We all hide in the corner, sort of behind the classroom door. James levitates the map so that Severus walks right into it, throwing him for a loop. He grabs it out of the air and looks around but doesn't see us. Then he looks down at the piece of parchment in his hands. I can see from here that scrawling letters have begun to form on it. However, it isn't the usual message. "What does it say?" I whisper to James. He smiles, shaking his head and walks over to Severus.

"What've you got there, Snape?" he snatches it out of his unsuspecting hands, only to infuriate him again. James reads aloud, "Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs respectfully request that dear old Snivellus keep a decent tongue around nice ladies. P.s. As far as Bella's love life goes, keep your ABNORMALLY LARGE NOSE OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS…much appreciated, mate."

James's boys start laughing behind me, and I join in. They look over at us, and James gives me a huge smile, clearly pleased that he succeeded in making me laugh. Severus glares at me, and all I can do is laugh at his enraged expression. He's still standing there staring as James walks over to us with the map.

"You were right," I admit. "That was funny."

"Good," he smiles down at me. "I like to make you laugh." With that, he pulls me close and kisses me full on the mouth, and I kiss him right back. I can hear the other boys whooping and hollering, and they're still at it when we break apart. I look over at Severus, too shocked to move.

I'm feeling completely triumphant in this moment. That's what you get for calling me those things, jerk! So, as James wraps his arms around my waist, I call out to my oldest friend, "It's rude to stare! Can't you read? Keep your abnormally large nose out of other people's business, _Snape_!"

My words are greeted by a variation of yeahs. Snape stalks off, and James pulls me in for a hug. "You did good, Bella," he says proudly. "Don't ever let anyone walk all over you again."

"Oh, I don't intend to." I pull him in for another kiss.

**Please review!**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: I don't own Harry Potter!**

Chapter 12

How could so much change in just the first few weeks of school? My sworn enemy is in love with me. My oldest friend and I are no longer on speaking terms. My Defense against the Dark Arts professor is the other man in my life. It's bittersweet, but I decide to just focus on the sweet. I'm growing fonder of James. He looks out for me; he wants to protect me. Plus, he makes me laugh so hard. It's Saturday, and he's asked me to go on an actual date at the Three Broomsticks. Déjà vu. I'm much more excited this time though.

I pull on some jeans and a nice top and throw my hair into a wild up-do, with my black curls cascading down. I'm wishing I could ask Andy for a second opinion when Narcissa walks in the room. "Hey, Cissy!" I give her a big hug. "How do I look?"

"Pretty, Bella!" she says with all her heartfelt sincerity. "Where are you going?"

"On a date, actually," I admit.

"Oh with James Potter?" she asks. "Wow, I didn't realize you two were serious."

"I dunno if we are, really, but I want to find out."

"Yeah…well I was just going to see if you or Andy wanted to go to Honeyduke's, but don't worry about it. I'm sure she's off somewhere with Ted. I see her even less than I see you these days."

"Aw, Cissy, I'm sorry. James and I can meet up with you at Honeyduke's after if you want."

"No, it's fine; don't worry about it. I need to get some studying done anyway. Maybe we could hang out some during the week every now and then, though."

"Agreed," I tell her. "Well, wish me luck on my first official date! I'm a little nervous!"

"Well, you shouldn't be. You'll have loads of fun."

"Thanks, Cissy. I'll see you later."

James and I meet up and then walk to the Three Broomsticks together. We're having a great time laughing over our butterbeers when he suddenly gets up and extends a hand to me. "Come on, Bella," he beckons, "How about a game of darts?"

"Sure," I tell him, accepting his help getting up. "I've never really played, though."

"I think you'll like it." James takes me over to the wall where the dart board is hanging, and he pulls the darts out of the board. As soon as he does, the board magically pries itself off the wall and hovers in midair. "Now," James instructs me, placing a dart in my hand, "It's all in the wrist."

He stands beside me as I make my first throw. As soon as the dart leaves my hand, though, the dart board moves out of its way. Of course. Nothing is ever easy in the wizarding world. I turn back to James and pout like a small child, causing him to laugh loudly at my expense. "That's not funny!" I insist.

"Yes, it is," he says, but he moves closer to me, standing at my back. He wraps both arms around my waist from behind and buries his face in my shoulder."You want to know what the secret is?" he whispers to me.

I nod, slowly, my heart starting to beat faster. "Confidence," James tells me. "See the target in your mind. If you believe you can hit it, then you will."

It sounds impossible, but I try it; I envision myself hitting the center eye on the dartboard as the second dart leaves my hand. I don't wish for it to happen. I will for it to happen. I say to myself that I can do it because it's just a silly dartboard – nothing too difficult. Sure enough, the board doesn't move. My dart lands on it, almost in the center, too.

James spins me around. "Now that," he admits, "was impressive." He tries to kiss me, but I put a hand up.

"Nope," I tease him. "Your turn."

Later, James pays for my drink, as well as my giant lollipop at Honeyduke's. He even holds the door for me wherever we go. I have to admit to myself that I'm very impressed; he's a perfect gentleman to me. We stroll around outside with our candy and talk. "This was a good idea," I let him know as I lick my sucker.

"I'm glad," he says with feeling. "I've enjoyed spending time with you, Bella."

"I have, too," I admit.

"So, I guess we're official?" he asks hopefully.

I think about Rodolphus – ok, Professor Lestrange – and about Andromeda telling me I'd have to make a choice. Well, he hasn't shown nearly as much interest as James has; I'm not one for subtlety, and I'm curious to see how a relationship with James would be.

"Yeah," I tell James as I slide my hand into his and smile up at him. "Yeah, we are."

When I get back to the dormitory, Andy isn't there; surprise, surprise. I try to wait up for her, but I fall asleep anyway. When I open my eyes, it's morning, and Andromeda is sprawled out across her bed, still in her top and jeans. She must have snuck in really late.

I get ready as quietly as possible and head to the Great Hall for breakfast. I sit down at the Slytherin table and scan the room. Narcissa? Nope. Regulus? Nope. Snape? Nope! The Gryffindor foursome? Nope. It's still early. Everyone's asleep. I decide to take advantage of this quiet moment to myself. It's very peaceful, but after awhile, I get bored of the quiet room and decide to go back to my room. Maybe I'll even get some more sleep.

When I walk in, though, Andy is actually awake. She's still in bed, facing away from me and reading a piece of parchment. "Hey, sis," I whisper, so as not to wake the other girls.

"Hey," she whispers back without looking at me.

"Look, I need to talk to you," I begin. "I know you really like Ted, but I just don't think you should devote all your time and energy towards him. You never used to skip classes. If you keep doing it, you're going to fall behind. And Cissy and I never get to see you. I know it's only been a couple weeks, but she's your little sister. She told me yesterday how much she missed you being around. I understand wanting to have a boyfriend, Andy; just please don't throw school and family away for a boy. Just nip all this drama in the bud."

My twin slowly rolls over to face me, and I can clearly see her tear-streaked face and puffy eyes. "Andy!" I exclaim, throwing my arms around her in a tight embrace. "What's wrong?"

She hands me the parchment wordlessly. It looks as though it's been folded and unfolded over and over again. It's a long, handwritten letter from the school hospital wing. I scan the letter, searching for a tidbit of information that would make my sister so upset. Finally, one sentence catches my eye: "In accordance with school policy, a letter will be sent to your parent or guardian, informing them of your pregnancy."

_Your pregnancy._

I slowly look up from the letter to her face. Her words come out in a rush, "Bella, I don't know what to do! I went to the hospital wing yesterday because I had a cold, and they do the routine tests they always do…it turned out positive! I couldn't believe it – I-I can't believe they have to tell Aunt Walburga! I'm just waiting for them to send that letter. She's bound to kick me out. I-I just… I don't know! Bellaaaa!" She breaks down in sobs, and I pull her into another hug.

The shock I feel at this discovery is nothing in comparison to my fear – our fear – of Aunt Walburga finding out about it.

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	13. Chapter 13

**AN: I don't own HP!**

Chapter 13

I can't get over the shock that my twin sister is pregnant. Pregnant! She's only sixteen and has known the guy a few weeks. "What am I going to do?" Andromeda whispers.

There's nothing we can do about the school sending a letter to our aunt. "I suppose," I say hesitantly, "all we can do is wait for a letter from Aunt Walburga."

Andy shudders noticeably at this. "Does Ted know?" I ask her.

She shakes her head violently. "I haven't told anyone."

"He needs to know, sis."

Andromeda doesn't say anything; she just nods. "Come here," I pull her in for another hug and rock her back and forth just like our mother used to when we were young. "It's gonna be okay," I whisper into her golden locks, trying not to cry for my twin. "It's gonna be okay."

Eventually, I manage to convince Andy to get dressed and go down to the Great Hall for a late breakfast. She claims isn't hungry, but I put a plate of toast in front of her anyway. She's only had a few bites when her owl drops a letter beside her plate. My sister doesn't touch the envelope; she just looks like she's going to throw up.

I take the letter for her and check the address. It's from Aunt Walburga, all right, and it's definitely going to be a howler. "You might not want to open that in here," I suggest, noticing more students coming to get food.

"Come with me," she begs. "I'm afraid to open it."

I go with her to the girls' lavatory to open the letter. Andy's hands are shaking, and eventually, I have to rip open the envelope. It jerks out of my hand and starts yelling at Andromeda. Definitely a howler.

"WHORE!" it shrieks in my aunt's nasally voice. "ANDROMEDA BLACK, you are a DISGRACE to the Black family, you good-for-nothing, stupid WHORE of a girl! You listen to me! You are to GED RID OF IT! You get rid of it before you bring SHAME and SCANDAL down on your family. If you don't, there WILL be consequences! Think on that!"

The letter explodes, and Andy buries her head in my shoulder, sobbing. Oh, how I hate that woman. "Just think," my twin says, "She doesn't even know the baby isn't pure-blood! Who knows what she'll do when she finds out?"

"You…you're going to keep it…right?" I ask my sister.

She pulls out of the embrace and straightens up, nodding solemnly. "I-I can't let her control my life," Andromeda decides, "especially not when she wants me to get rid of my baby. I just can't do that."

We stand in silence for a moment. As much as I wish Andromeda wouldn't have put herself in this situation to begin with, I am proud of her for not letting our aunt influence her decision. "So what now?" I ask.

She wipes her face and looks me dead in the eye. "Now I have to tell Ted. Wish me luck." Andromeda walks off to find her boyfriend of only a couple weeks, and I can only hope that it goes well.

Upon exiting the lavatory, I literally bump into a professor, who's on his way to get some breakfast. "Forgive me," I say, bending down to pick up the books I made him drop.

"That's quite all right, Bellatrix," the professor says, amused. I look up, my dark curls falling into my eyes. It's Professor Lestrange. Of course it's Professor Lestrange. I can feel the blush creeping into my cheeks. I sit in the back row of his classroom, so the only time we talk is at lessons really…which means the last time I talked to him was at our last lesson…Just thinking about that last lesson makes me blush even more.

He kneels in front of me – I assume to take the books out of my hands. First, though, he pushes my thick hair out of my face and takes my chin in his hand. I really hope there's no one about to walk through this corridor. "You really amazed me during your lesson last week, Bellatrix," he tells me. "You have so much potential…you might just be the most powerful witch of your age."

"Th-thanks," I stammer, handing him back his books. Get it together, Bellatrix! James is your boyfriend now. "Um, see you in class," I call over my shoulder.

"See you," he echoes, smiling.

I head back to the Slytherin common room to get some studying done. Andromeda comes in after a few hours with good news – Ted didn't freak out. I'm really surprised, considering that they haven't known each other for very long at all. "Bella," Andy starts. "I need this to just stay between the three of us. I don't want Aunt Walburga finding out, so I'm going to pretend to go to a clinic, I suppose, and then just do my best to hide it."

"You're not going to tell Cissy?" I demand.

"Bella, the fewer people who know, the better," she insists.

"She's going to be totally hacked off when she finds out you kept this from her, Andromeda."

"I know," she says, "but I just can't afford to tell her until after the baby's born. I know Aunt Walburga will cut me off financially when she realizes that I've tricked her, but I need access to the family money for as long as possible for doctor visits and things…"

"I suppose you're right," I allow, "but if Aunt Walburga does find out, we'll figure something out, so don't you worry."

"Thanks, Bellatrix, I'm so glad you're not only my twin…but my best friend. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you."

"Although I'd never tell Cissy this, you're my best friend too, sis. Like I said, just try not to worry about this. I promise if Aunt Walburga even looks at you funny, I'll jinx her cross-eyed!"

"Bella, stop!" Andy lets out a giggle.

I smile but continue, "I mean it, though. If anyone ever hurts you, I'll make them wish they hadn't."

"Thanks, Bella."

"You're my sister," I say simply. "I'll always be there for you."

I'm hanging out with the Marauders more this week, and I really enjoy it. Never a dull moment with them. Plus, it doesn't hurt that one of them is now my boyfriend. James and I are always holding hands or he's got his arm around me, so pretty much everyone knows we're dating. Cissy's such a little gossip. She told me that she heard Lily Evans was crying for a whole day when she found out about James and me…sort of like when Severus cried for several days when he found out Lily didn't like him. Talk about irony.

I don't want to think about Snape, though. Nope – because no matter what awful things he said to me, some part of me still feels guilty…he was my oldest friend after all. I can't think about that, though, because he's not in any mood to be my friend now. He continues to sit several seats away from us in Potions, and he never even looks at us. He focuses even more on making potions than he ever did before, probably because he's trying to tune out whatever we're saying. As a result, he's doing better than anyone else in the class.

Another lesson with Professor Lestrange rolls around. I meet him at the Room of Requirement, wondering what he could possibly have planned for today. When we enter, the room is empty, save for the mats on the floor. "All right," Lestrange begins. "Today, I'm going to teach you how to defend yourself against the Imperius curse."

Ugh, another unforgivable curse. "But-"

"No buts," he interrupts. "This is a very powerful curse, and you need to know how to avoid its effects. Are you ready?"

I gulp. "You just want me to disarm you?"

"No, of course not," Lestrange says. "You're going to be casting the curse. I wouldn't curse a student."

"Okay," I say, unsure. "What if you don't deflect it? How do I counter it?"

"You don't," he answers me, "but I've built up somewhat of a resistance to it."

That isn't exactly reassuring, but I step away from him and raise my wand anyway. _"Imperio," _I say, and he deflects it with _"Expelliarmus,"_ a disarming spell I already know. I pick up my wand, and we continue this. He switches it up, teaching me by using different spells to avoid the curse. As we continue practicing, we get faster and faster. Eventually, I curse him too quickly for him to protect himself, and the Imperius curse hits him. Uh-oh.

He drops his wand and stands there. "Well?" I ask, "Can you resist it?"

His eyebrows are knit together in concentration. "I think so," he says. "Try me."

"Umm, spin around in a circle," I command him, feeling stupid. He clenches his hands into fists, clearly fighting the curse, but eventually, he does spin around in a circle. Wow, this is actually pretty cool. I feel a wicked smile form on my lips. "'I've built up a resistance to it,' huh?" I tease.

He smiles in spite of himself. "Somewhat – _somewhat _of a resistance to it," he corrects me.

"Right," I say, walking closer.

"Oh, you're feeling all powerful now, aren't you?" Lestrange asks, smirking at me. I simply nod.

"What to make you do next…" I muse, teasing. "I didn't know you could talk freely under the Imperius curse," I say.

"That's about as far as my resistance to the curse goes," he admits.

"I see. Well…how about you sing me a song," I tell him, grinning mischievously.

Lestrange narrows his eyes, frustrated, but then he begins to sing. He isn't too bad, honestly; he's just embarrassed. I feel a little bad…but only a little. I feel more empowered than anything. He finishes his song huffs at me. "You're enjoying yourself, aren't you?" he accuses.

"Immensely," I reply. "Don't forget, though, it was you who wanted to work on this. This is all you."

"Oh, I know," he assures me. "I think it's wearing off, though."

"Yeah? Go run laps around the room," I test him.

Instead, he gets this crazy smile on his face and runs toward _me_. "What are you doing?" I demand, dodging him. He catches me eventually though, pulling me close, holding my hands against his chest. I catch my breath. "Stop," I whisper.

He doesn't move for a few moments. When he finally releases my hands, he simply says, "I just wanted to make sure the curse had completely faded." Why does he always have to make it awkward? Once again, I feel my cheeks burning, and I know he can see how red they are.

"I've got to go," I tell him. "H-homework," comes my lame excuse.

He chuckles quietly, fixing me with that intense blue stare. "Let's close up then, shall we?" he jokes. There isn't anything to straighten up or clean up – it's a magical room after all. Lestrange follows me out and shuts the door. As soon he's doing, I hear running footsteps heading away from us. Was someone…eavesdropping? Lestrange doesn't seem to notice, so I tell him goodbye and go my own way, worrying over what the eavesdropper might have heard.

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	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Sorry it's been so long! Been super busy with school stuff, but here's a rainy day, so I decided to post! Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter!**

Chapter 14

The next day in Potions, James is acting a bit strange. Maybe it's just my imagination, but he seems quieter than usual. I ask him what's wrong, but he shrugs it off as being tired. I give him a kiss on the cheek, and he perks up a bit. I wonder what's with him. What's really got my wand in a knot, though, is this whole situation with Andromeda. I play it down when I'm with her, but I'm honestly worried for her. At least Ted hasn't dumped her. I just hope he's there for her when she needs him most.

The week flies by in a flurry of papers, tests, and time spent with friends. Wednesday rolls around again, and James asks me at lunch if I want to go with him after classes to take a dip in the Black Lake. It's somewhat of a dare because the lake is always so cold, and it's too dark and deep to see what all lives in it. As much as I love dares and spending time with my boyfriend, I have to turn him down. "Sorry, James," I tell him. "I have tutoring on Wednesdays." That's one way of putting it, at least.

He says that it's fine, but he starts acting weird again, staying silent for the rest of lunch. The other boys don't seem to notice, but I can't help but notice. Is he mad at me for some reason? I have no idea. By the time lunch is over, I'm extremely confused. I worry over it during my classes and am still worrying when I walk over to the Room of Requirement for my weekly Wednesday lesson with Professor Lestrange. "Hello, Bellatrix," Lestrange greets me warmly as he opens the door for me. "Is everything alright?"

"I'm not sure," I answer truthfully, pausing to face him before entering the room. I suddenly feel a small breeze past my face…from the corridor into the room. Huh. You never can tell with a magical castle, I suppose.

"Is there anything I can do?" Lestrange wants to know.

"Honestly," I admit, "It's probably just stress. I think I just need to get my mind off of things."

"Well, then," he says, following me into the Room of Requirement, "I suppose it's a good day for a lesson."

Today, he tells me that we're going to be working on the Cruciatus Curse. "Shouldn't I be _deflecting _the curse?" I demand.

"Bellatrix," Lestrange tries to calm me, "Of course you should. However, I want you to try it in the safety of the classroom so that you will fully understand in the future how severe of a curse it really is."

"Are you insane?" I practically shout. "I'm not going to practice the torture curse on you!"

"Of course not, Bellatrix," he assures me, all patronizing as he walks over to a wardrobe in the corner. "That's what boggarts are for."

I take a deep breath as Lestrange releases the boggart from the wardrobe. It crawls out in the form of the thing I fear the most – an infant, apparently. It looks like Andy in the face, and I know why this is at the top of my list of fears. It's _her_ baby – the baby that will most likely ruin my sister's life. If Lestrange is surprised at my worst fear, though, he doesn't say anything. I shake my head. "No way. I can't torture a baby!" I exclaim.

"Bellatrix," he says again, and comes over to put a hand on my shoulder. "It's not a baby; it's a boggart. They live to frighten people to madness, and you aren't killing it, so stop feeling guilty. If you want to be prepared for what lies outside these castle walls, you're going to have to be strong…and I know you can."

I meet his gaze and give a nod, walking over to the boggart. Trying not to think about what I'm doing, I wave my wand and say, "Crucio." Aside from a few red sparks coming out of my wand, nothing happens.

"You have to _mean it_," Lestrange explains. "Think hard on why this is the thing you fear the most, and attack that fear."

"Okay," I half-whisper. A nagging feeling somewhere in the back of my mind tells me that this is wrong, but I raise my wand anyway, willing the feeling to go away. If Lestrange thinks that practicing the Cruciatus Curse will help me understand it to be able to deflect it better, then I trust him. After all, he's put his trust in me; he let me practice the Imperius curse on him! I don't want to let him down.

I raise my wand again, staring at the boggart in this young, innocent form. It's not innocent, though. It's a boggart. People have had heart attacks and even gone insane from seeing what they fear the most on the face of a boggart. I can't let my fear control me, though. I will protect my sister as she faces the consequences of her actions, and I will not be afraid.

That is what I tell myself as I shout the curse, aiming at the baby. Red light from my wand hits it, and it immediately flinches away, quickly losing control of its transforming abilities due to the severe pain. The creature changes from form to form, crying out in different voices, growls, screeches. It stops when the curse wears off and resumes its initial form. I suppose I'll have to work harder to overcome that fear – the fear of this baby ruining my sister's life. Perhaps Lestrange thinks the same thing, for he then makes me practice several more times.

I feel myself breaking into a grin as the spell starts to become easier, and he returns my smile. I lean against the wall to rest as he stuffs the boggart back into the wardrobe. Lestrange walks over to stand in front of me, his blue eyes sparkling with amazement. "At this rate," he almost laughs, "you'll be the one teaching the class next semester! You're such a fast learner."

I beam up at him, basking in his praise. I've never received any sort of special recognition for my magic before, other than professors telling me to be a bit more careful, a bit less forceful…but where's the fun in that?

Lestrange moves a bit closer, placing his hands on either side of the wall behind me, and my breath catches in my throat. I should know by now to expect something like this at a lesson. He's made his interest clear every other time. I wish he'd stop. Sure, he's gorgeous, and smart, and witty…but I'm going out with James.

Lestrange tries to lean in, but I duck under his arm and move out of the way. He turns around to face me, his blue eyes boring into my hazel ones with a playful shine. My heart skips a beat as he takes my hand. "Don't," I tell him, trying to pull it out of his hand.

"Why not?" he challenges me, eyebrows raised.

"I have a boyfriend," I inform him, tugging on my hand to no avail.

"You mean James Potter," says Lestrange, with a noticeable hint of malice in his voice.

"How did you know that?" I ask, finally succeeding in pulling my hand out of his grasp.

"My dear, it's no secret around Hogwarts that you two are a couple," he tells me.

"Well if you knew, then why – "

"I suppose I was hoping you'd change your mind," he purrs. "Who knows? There's still time." His mischievous smirk gives me butterflies in my stomach.

I can't deceive my boyfriend, though. He doesn't deserve that. Plus he's amazing and so good to me. "I won't change my mind," I inform Lestrange. "I love him."

As I pack up my things and open the door, I feel a breeze from the classroom out into the hallway. This castle is seriously starting to weird me out. I turn around to tell Lestrange goodbye. He's right behind me and answers my previous comment with an, "Of course, Bellatrix. Whatever you say."

Those blue eyes are still playful and joking, and I walk away with a groan at this new complication. As I round the corner on my way to the Great Hall, I happen upon James, who's leaned up against the wall. He's looking down at his invisibility cloak in his hands, his expression one of anger and hurt.

"Hey," I greet him, moving in for a hug, "What's wrong?"

James moves out of my reach, though, and sighs heavily before meeting my eyes. There's something there in his gaze that I don't like, but I can't pinpoint what it is exactly… "I know what you've been up to, Bella," he states.

_That's_ what it is.

Accusation.

**Please review! Thank ya!**


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: Let me just say that I am ****so**** sorry it has taken me so long to update. Summer's here, though, so I should hopefully have more time to write! Anyway, disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter!**

Chapter 15

"I know what you've been up to Bella," James states as he looks down at me with those accusing eyes.

Suddenly, it all clicks. The breeze I felt in the doorway, the invisibility cloak in James's hands – "You were spying on me?" is the first thing that comes out of my mouth, and I do feel angry at his lack of trust. Plus, I'm mortified that James must have witnessed Lestrange being…_Lestrange _– all flirty and up in my space. My cheeks are practically on fire, I'm blushing so fiercely.

James looks as though he's about to burst. "No – I – that's not the point!" he exclaims. "You've been meeting with him behind my back – not to mention the fact that he is a _professor. _And that he's teaching you DARK MAGIC!"

"Don't be ridiculous," I huff, but I can't bring myself to meet his eyes. "He's _just _giving me _lessons_… and NOT in dark magic! I'm not an idiot!"

"Unforgivable curses! They're illegal, Bella! And seriously dark!"

"I wasn't learning them to use them on anybody; I –"

"Just learning how to use them so you can 'fully understand them'? What a load of crap! This is wrong, Bella! This is serious shit you're getting mixed up in, and Lestrange has got you so wrapped around his little finger that you don't even know what's right and what's wrong anymore."

"How dare you say tha –"

"It's true – it is! And he went and made a move on you, the bastard! I'm going to report him to Dumbledore!"

"Stop it!" I take his face in my hands and force him to meet my eyes. He tries to pull away, but I hold on tight. "Listen to me," I manage to say pretty calmly. "There is _nothing _– I repeat, _nothing, _going on between _Professor _Lestrange and me. I love _you_, James. _Only _you. And since you were there, you heard me tell him that."

"If it's nothing, then why did you have to lie to me about meeting him every week?" he practically growls, taking my hands off his face and now putting his on my face so that I can't look away. "What was it you were ashamed of? The dark magic or hooking up with your _teacher_?"

His deep blue eyes are boring into mine, and I've never felt so naked, so exposed in my entire life. It's as if he's staring straight into my soul, and I'm not so sure I want him poking around in there. He's probably not going to like what he finds…so I come up with a quick lie off the top of my head.

"I didn't tell you because I was hoping to avoid you jumping to conclusions and freaking out like this."

He narrows his eyes a bit and drops his hands away from my face, too smart to believe that lie. "Whatever, Bella," he mutters. "I'm still telling Dumbledore. This is completely mucked up."

"No," I protest, grabbing his arm as he tries to walk off in search of our headmaster. He shakes me off, though, and keeps walking. Feeling completely defeated, I yell at him, "WHO EVEN TOLD YOU THAT IT WAS OKAY TO COME SPY ON ME ANYWAY?"

James stops dead in his tracks before turning around and marching back toward me. He stops right in front of me, so angry that he's practically snorting out steam. "Your cousin told me. He was worried about what you were getting yourself into."

Sirius? He would never – no. Not Sirius.

Regulus.

That conniving little gossip collecting eavesdropper. Did James completely forget how Regulus ratted out Sirius to their mother? He hasn't exactly been looking out for anyone's interests but his own lately.

"Regulus doesn't give a crap about his cousins anymore, James," I spit back at him, my anger toward my younger cousin coming out. "He's just creating drama and watching everyone else suffer because he has no friends!"

James sighs. "Look," he tells me, gently this time, "I'm sorry I yelled at you, but Regulus was right – about the curses and about Lestrange. Listen, Bella, I believe you that you're not cheating on me…but whether you can see it or not, he shouldn't be teaching you any of that stuff…and he shouldn't be pressuring you. I'm sorry, Bellatrix. I know you don't understand why I'm doing this, but he has got to go. Trust me – you'll thank me later."

I don't know what else to say to make him change his mind, but a voice behind us startles both of us. "I'm sorry, Mr. Potter, but I can't let you do that." Oh, no. We turn to see Lestrange there with his wand out. I'm shocked that he would pull his wand on a student, but James wastes no time pulling out his own wand. Lestrange, being more experienced in duels I'm guessing, is quicker and casts a spell on my boyfriend.

"Obliviate," he says, but James isn't thrown through the air or exploded into a thousand tiny pieces or anything. Instead, he simply stumbles back a step and shakes his head as if to clear it, before passing out right there in the corridor.

I gasp and catch him before he hits the hard ground. Well, I sort of catch him. It's more like slowing his fall. I gently prop his slouched form against the wall and pull my wand on Lestrange. "How could you!" I want to know. "He's my boyfriend – and you just wiped his memory!"

"Re_lax_, Bellatrix," Lestrange says lazily. "I only took the parts about your suspicious activities." He raises an eyebrow at me suggestively and chuckles when I just glare at him.

"So…he won't remember any of this about us?"

"So it's 'us,' now, is it?" he does the eyebrow thing again. I grit my teeth.

"You know what I mean."

"Yes, yes, all is forgotten. No one's running off to Dumbledore and getting me fired today." Lestrange gives me this look – like he's gauging my reaction to see if I'll try and fight him off with magic or make a break for Dumbledore's office myself. I mean, he just snuck up on me and James, listened to our conversation, and knocked him out cold by stealing some of his memories. He's a dangerous man; I didn't realize it before, but I do now. He's dangerous…but it doesn't matter. I'm a reckless girl.

I put my wand away and take several steps toward him, almost closing the gap between us. "I guess that's all right," I find myself saying. "As long as you do the same for my cousin, Regulus."

"With pleasure," responds Lestrange to my request. He looks at me as though he's seeing me for the first time. He was obviously expecting a different response from me, like outrage, maybe. I'm not angry, though. There isn't a part of me that wants to see him go, and if he has to steal a few memories here and there to stay, I'm not going to argue with that.

In fact, I realize that I haven't been entirely truthful with James or Lestrange. I do love James. I absolutely do. The problem is, I think I might love Rodolphus Lestrange, too.

He's still staring at me like he's waiting for me to freak out and run, but I step even closer instead, closing any gap between us. His eyes narrow some, confusion apparent as I wrap my arms around his neck and lock mouths with him. Lestrange gets into it, though, pulling me even closer to him and returning the kiss with more force than James usually does.

James.

I immediately move to pull away, but Lestrange is still holding me. "I-I can't…I don't know why I just did that…"

He doesn't let go – just stares at me with those bright eyes. "You know exactly why," he whispers. "Maybe you have feelings for that boy, but you have feelings for me, too." He brushes the back of his hand against my cheek.

I almost lean in to kiss him again, but I pull myself back. He lets go this time. "I just can't," I whisper, feeling incredibly guilty that I'm well on my way to confirming some of James's suspicions. I can't believe I just betrayed his trust. This time, Lestrange lets go, his lips pursed. I can't tell if he's mad at me or at himself for not doing a better job at convincing me to choose him.

James stirs, his eyes still closed. I kneel down beside him and look up to Lestrange, panicking a bit. He sighs. "I'll go take care of your cousin. When Potter wakes up, just tell him he fell and hit his head or something. He'll have to take your word for it."

I simply nod. He goes to leave, but I stop him with a "Rodolphus!" He turns, surprised.

"Thank you," is all I can think to say. He nods curtly and walks off to find Regulus. I'm left wondering how my life got so bloody complicated.

**Please review! Thanks!**


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: Alright, so this chapter begins part two, and we are CHANGING THINGS UP! Switching POV, yay! It's pretty refreshing to write a different one, actually! So, hope you enjoy! We finally get to see a bit of Voldemort in this chapter, and in part two in general the characters will be pushed to decide where their loyalties lie. Things are finally starting to get interesting! I'm so excited! Sooo here you go! Remember, I don't own Harry Potter!**

PART TWO: CHOOSING SIDES

Chapter 16

Rodolphus Lestrange gasped in surprise as the mark on his arm began to burn. He didn't think he'd ever get used to this system of summoning his master had recently thought up. He had just finished taking care of Regulus Black's memory and was having a drink at the Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade, but the burning sensation coming from his Dark Mark was a direct order to report to his master immediately. Rodolphus drained his glass with one final swig and headed outside to apparate.

One minute he was in the village. The next, he was in a dark and dusty drawing room. Riddle Manor. Lord Voldemort was currently using this house, his old and unoccupied family estate, as his headquarters, but he didn't seem to care about the dust or cobwebs. Perhaps if they had to clear out, he didn't want it to look like anyone had been there. A familiar, smooth voice interrupted Rodolphus's musings.

"Rodolphus," said the Dark Lord. "Come. We have the matter of Bellatrix Black to discuss."

The Death Eater approached his master, who was seated in a large armchair by the fireplace. The crackling fire gave off the only light in the dim room, just enough light to see the vague outline of Voldemort's face – prominent cheekbones, dark hair, dark eyes, pale skin. He stretched out his hand as Rodolphus knelt in front of him and kissed his ring. "Yes, my master," purred the loyal follower. He stood up and strode over to the fireplace, picked up the poker and began to turn the logs over absentmindedly as he spoke. "Unfortunately, I don't think Bellatrix is going to be as easy to recruit as we first believed. Her loyalty to Potter is unwavering."

"Then, we will have to try a different approach," Voldemort said. "I want you to focus your attention on her childhood friend, Severus Snape. He should be easier to win over – the lonely ones always are. If all goes as planned, he will be the key to Bellatrix joining us."

"And if he refuses, master?" Rodolphus put the poker down and turned to face Voldemort.

The Dark Lord smiled. "Then, you will tell him just how easy it is for you to get to dear Bella. No matter how angry he is with her, I'm sure he would rather join us than let her die."

"Of course, Lord Voldemort," Rodolphus answered, returning his sly smile. "I am sure he would."

Rodolphus didn't have to wait long for an opportunity to speak with Severus. The next afternoon, Severus had his class, and Rodolphus asked him to come speak with him in his office afterward. The boy shrugged and followed him upstairs, but he became a bit concerned when his professor locked the door behind them.

"Have I done something wrong, sir?" asked Severus, quite confused as to why he should receive special attention from the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor.

"Quite the contrary, Severus," Rodolphus assured him as he took a seat and motioned for the boy to do the same. He folded his hands on his desk and looked Severus dead in the eye. "However," he went on, choosing his words carefully, "there is something I wish to discuss with you – something _highly confidential_."

Poor Severus was more confused than ever. "Yes, sir?"

Rodolphus took a deep breath before continuing. "I trust you have heard of the wizard, Voldemort, and his followers."

Severus raised his eyebrows the slightest bit, surprised that this was what his professor wanted to discuss. He nodded, though. He had heard the name and had just read in the Daily Prophet about another recent attack – on yet another muggle-born wizard. "It's some sort of cult, isn't it? And Voldemort is the leader?"

Rodolphus sighed. "I suppose you could put it that way; his followers are referred to as 'Death Eaters,' and they have begun to exterminate mud – er, muggle-borns…the inferior race."

"You think that, too, sir? That they are inferior?" Severus asked.

"I know it," Rodolphus replied. He stood up and walked around his desk to lean against it, facing his student. He pulled up his left sleeve to show Severus his skull and snake tattoo.

"What's that?" inquired the boy, who leaned closer to get a good look.

"This," answered Rodolphus with more than a little pride, "is the Dark Mark. It is the mark of the Death Eater."

Severus's head snapped up; his jaw dropped in astonishment. For a moment, neither of them said anything, just stared at each other in silence. Finally, Severus asked the obvious, "You're one of Them? A Death Eater?"

Rodolphus gave a slow but deliberate nod and pulled his sleeve down. "Yes, I serve Lord Voldemort," he said.

Severus gulped. "What do you want with me?" he blurted nervously. "I'm a half-blood, not technically a muggle-born."

His professor chuckled softly. "That's not why I asked to speak with you; in fact, you show great promise, Severus. I want you to join our ranks."

Severus thought it over. Though he was in Slytherin, he'd never actually had anything against muggle-borns. Hell, he had one muggle parent himself! He thought of his witch mother, though. In her Hogwarts days, Eileen Prince had been a Slytherin. The Prince family was an old, pure-blood wizarding family, and they forbade their children to marry anyone who wasn't of pure-blood. Eileen had grown up with this philosophy and believed that pure-bloods were, in fact, superior, until she finished school and met Severus's father, Tobias Snape. Tobias was a muggle, and Eileen fell in love with him immediately, but the two of him always fought. He was afraid of her magic, and he was a terrible drunk, usually hitting young Severus when he had had too much to drink. When Severus was eleven and received his Hogwarts acceptance letter, Eileen and Tobias had their biggest fight ever. She then left him and took Severus with her.

Up until that time, Severus could remember his mother trying to make it work with his father. He had always hated that man, and by the time she left him, Eileen hated Tobias, as well. Those first few years away from him, she was always telling Severus how horrid muggles truly were – how she should have listened to her family and never married one – how very sorry she was that her poor son had to have even the least bit of muggle blood to make his life that much harder. Severus had a feeling that his mother would be extremely proud if he became a Death Eater.

But then, what about Lily? She actually was a muggle-born. How could he kill muggle-borns when the girl he loved was one? _As long as you don't have to hurt her, what difference does it make? _said a little voice inside his head. _She hates you anyway, enough to want Potter over you - Potter, who did all those terrible things to you – shamed you, bullied you…yet Lily AND Bella continue to choose him over you. Your own father chose slutty muggle women over you and your mother. You didn't belong in the muggle world, and you don't belong here at Hogwarts. Why not join the Death Eaters? Why not be a part of something and actually belong for once?_

Severus took a deep breath. He knew that if he went down this path, it would change his life forever. Somewhere in the back of his mind, another voice screamed that he should think this over some more, that killing innocent people wouldn't solve anything. He let his pain drown out that voice, though – the pain of Lily's rejection, Bella's lies and abandonment for Potter, the rage he still felt toward his disappointment of a father.

"I'll do it," Severus answered. "Tell Voldemort I'm in."

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